Land Rover Discovery - long-term review

Right, much to discuss with the Discovery. Some things are going well, others badly, the overall impression so far is… lukewarm. I suspect this is going to read negatively, so I need to point out now that as far as driving goes, all is wonderful. The Disco rides smoothly (now on newly fitted inch-smaller rims wearing winter tyres), is light on steering, torquey and very quiet.

However. Roof rails aren’t standard. On a Discovery. I know. They’re £439, plus you have to add something called ditch finishers (£117) and a light kit (£55). Open the tailgate and the downward curving corners are like vicious prongs. They’ve claimed two lanky victims so far. The electric folding seats were starting to win me over until I had to get people into the rear row, then I found you have to manually slide the middle row forward (awkward) and then electrically tilt them (which is s-l-o-w). In an XC90 it’s a one-handed catch.

Deep breath. InControl Touch Pro. If mine’s anything to go by – and I think it is given that two friends with Discoverys are having similar issues – the infotainment isn’t fit for purpose. Chiefly confusing and slow, the other day the InControl app (Apple CarPlay isn’t an option) played my music fast. Just a fraction. Irritating. So I tried to switch to Bluetooth. Not possible. Then, at 60mph, the parking sensors went off. Next I was informed I had a puncture. I didn’t. One tyre was just a single psi softer.

This leads me to a conclusion: the technology is here to give the Disco a USP, not to improve the user experience.