Report: Ford considering name change to ‘Gué’ and move to France

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

American carmaking giant Ford is considering changing its name to Gué and moving to France, sources have told Top Gear.

The long-running US auto manufacturer has unexpectedly expressed an interest in all things Gallic and is reportedly considering relocating its facilities to Europe.

Long-established badges will also be given French translations and come with on-board mini fridges to store inexplicably delicious cheeses.

“Yes, Fiesta’s already a European name, so it’s no big deal to change it to Fete,” an insider said. “And come on, would you rather drive a Capri, or a Corsaire with a year’s subscription to Camembert home delivery?

“Sure, Germany was the original target, but then France suddenly looked way more appealing,” an insider said. “No idea why, but it just looked sunnier and yellower and way more vibrant and crucially hugely more successful and not full of mind-meltingly irritating user interfaces.

“Ahem, sorry, we mean France makes really nice baguettes too.

“We’ve had a tough time of late, so a nice, possibly permanent, European vacation might do us all some good. As the French say, aprés la pluie, le beau temps, after all.

“Where exactly are we moving, you ask? Oh, dunno, maybe somewhere like Boulogne-Billancourt? I hear it’s really nice up near the avenue du General Leclerc,” the insider added.