BMW 1 Series 128ti – long-term review

Maybe it’s much ado about nothing, but the name of this BMW hot hatch makes no sense to me. Identity is a powerful thing, and this 128ti – on the surface – appears a little confused.

‘1’ makes sense. It’s a 1 Series BMW, which denotes that it’s a hatchback, and while not the most easy-going of hatchback shapes, it doesn’t look too offensive in real life. ‘28’, though? I own an E36 328i, and that makes sense because it’s a 2.8-litre 3 Series. This 128 is not a 2.8-litre 1 Series (but a 2.0-litre turbo four-pot).

Then there’s ‘ti’, last seen doing service on the… ah, yes, the 325ti Compact; perhaps an unexpectedly OK car to drive, but not the most evocative. No, ‘ti’ was last seen doing proper service on the gorgeous 2002 from the Sixties, but I suspect that for the car’s intended audience – those Bright Young Things upgrading from stuff like second-hand Golf GTIs and so on – ‘ti’ won’t really hold much resonance. Maybe I’m wrong.

Can’t be wrong about the red lipstick smeared across the side skirts and front bumper, though. While a Golf GTI – the car this BMW needs to topple, remember – exudes class, the 128ti feels a little Fast and Furious. Our advice? Maybe delete the stickers.

Aside from the identity crisis, it’s a serious little car to drive, and – as I’m finding out – lots of fun: accurate, satisfying, and really quite fast. It is also relatively docile when your pants aren’t on fire too; a facet of its personality arguably just as important as the whole ‘drive-it-like-you’re-escaping-comments-about-that-grille’ thing.

Yes, Ollie M’s original observations about the tautness of its ride are indeed true – it’s a firmly sprung setup and long motorway jaunts can get a little taxing; one suspects Volkswagen’s decades-long expertise in this area give that pesky GTI an advantage. But leave the engine and gearbox to their own devices and there’s nothing wrong with the drivetrain.

Oh, and I can confirm the results of perhaps the most important test of any new car: a fully-grown, slightly goofy Golden Retriever fits perfectly in the boot. Nothing confusing about that.