BMW 1 Series 128ti – long-term review

They say no man is an island, and yet I am alone on this particular one, because, dear readers, I have a confession to make. After months of running Top Gear’s long-term 128ti and assessing it through the prism of daily life, the blacked-out nostrils pasted onto its nose offended less and less, to the point where - *shudders* - they became appealing.

So, let’s sail out of this fog of Unreasonable Opinions and into sunnier climes and away from this increasingly tortured analogy. The 128ti had a sizeable task on its hands, which was to find out whether it was a better Golf GTI than a Golf GTI; Volkswagen’s been the Hot Hatch teacher’s pet for decades, but only now is there a chink in its armour with the eighth-generation car.

It entered in high spirits – earlier test drives had already confirmed its prowess on the sorts of roads the GTI lapped up. This was a front-wheel-drive BMW, eating through Britain’s B-road network with focus and enthusiasm. It really is very good as a road-biased hatch. There’s a mature sensibility to the way it approaches its work, a sense that were this a person, it’d be the quiet one in the corner just getting the job done. If of course, that person was wearing a Halloween mask. Ah, normal thought process resumed.

So, there are no fizzy theatrics like you get from a Civic Type R or i30N, just grip, good and accurate – though artificial – steering, a great sense of what the chassis is doing underneath you and a tremendous front diff. Makes all the difference.

Should you wish to alienate friends and attendees of your local track day, you’ll find the 128ti is… well, a touch on the staid side. At TG’s recent Speed Week showdown, the baby BMW never really came alive, no sense that it wanted to engage in flat out hooliganism; more a sense of ‘go on, idiot, get it over with and let’s get home’.

And you know what? That’s totally fine. It’s not a Nürburgring special, even if it has been honed at the Nürburgring and wears the kinds of decals a typical Nürburgring car might wear.

‘ti’. Huh. Probably means nothing to most, but it’s a moniker applied to a 2002 and later an E36 Compact. So, a mixed bag. Whatever the meaning, its application here felt a little clumsy, more so because the rest of the car is tastefully decked out, especially inside.

Clear instrumentation (even if it wears weird diagonal dials), actual buttons (!), a dash angled gently towards the driver and great seats. Not so much room in the back for legs, but you’ll be surprised at how much you can pack into one of these. Including, as TG found out using patented scientific methods, a grand total of three Golden Retrievers in the boot.

Those Golden boys and girls might object to the ride – it’s a little on the firm side – but not at the mpg it continually delivered (Retrievers are notorious for being mpg crazy). Over 40mpg without any effort was a regular occurrence. Sure, it’s not sexy like ‘woah-lift-off-oversteer!’ is, but owning something so competent and efficient pays dividends in the long run to your peace of mind.

And that, to conclude, is what this car is all about. Indeed, when put on the spot, several members of the Top Gear office would take the BMW over the GTI. It’s fast enough, it handles very well on road, and – OK – it looks a little lairy. But it’s all shot through with a lens of sensibleness. Yeah, I’ll sail back to my island of one.