Report: tourist enters third day of being stuck at UK roundabout

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

An international tourist has spent yet another day frozen in ‘abject fear’ at the prospect of entering a large, fast-moving and seemingly lawless roundabout in the UK.

In a bid to reach their hotel, located on the third exit of a five-exit roundabout, the tourist explained how the ‘sheer terror’ of UK motorists’ lane discipline had left them ‘absolutely shaken to the core’.

It is the third day the international driver – who is unaccustomed to UK motorists’ inability to stick to their proper lane – has been stationary at the entrance, causing widespread traffic.

Now motoring experts are calling for a government body to oversee the motorist's safe passage onto the third exit.

“I arrived in the correct lane, just as my instructor taught me,” the motorist, who wishes to remain anonymous, told TopGear.com. “But then the guy in the left lane decided he actually wanted to exit on the right, so I waited. And the guy on the far right swerved across three lanes of traffic behind me, overtook everyone and then at the last minute dived into the second exit.

“I watched this fresh hell unfold in front of me. What god would allow such madness? Send help,” the motorist added.

In other news, TopGear.com understands a British driver has been held captive by France’s inexplicable Arc di Triomphe roundabout for the past five months. “Tell my dog I love him,” the man shouted out of his window.