This 600bhp tuned Audi RS3 is a nine-second car

This is a really fast Audi RS3 saloon. Sure, you might think, most Audi RS3 saloons aren’t shy in matters of accelerative prowess. This one just takes that notion and laughs.

So. It’s a really fast Audi RS3 saloon that’s really fast thanks to a suite of modifications via VW and Audi tuning specialist APR. The US-based tuner decided to equip this orange chunk of speed with a number of prototype parts they’ll soon be rolling out for sale.

They include a new intake, intercooler, fuelling and ECU system for the 2.5-litre five-pot turbo. Oh, and a new turbo - a 'TTE625' that slots straight in using the standard mounts. We think.

More equipment comes in the shape of a straight-pipe exhaust, new 18in wheels and Hoosier drag tyres, while less equipment comes in the shape of binning the seats.

All this adds up to quite a big whoopie. 600 whoopies, to be precise, and the ability to accelerate from 0-60mph in 2.44s – two point four, people – 60-120mph in 4.79s and a series of quarter miles in less than ten seconds.

The RS3 saloon lined up at Montgomery Motorsport Park in Alabama recently, and ran eight passes, clocking 9.96s, 9.97s, 9.96s, 9.86s, 9.91s, 9.89s, 9.83s and 9.9s. Talk about consistency.

“Given the turbo’s moderate size,” said APR, “the system makes for an excellent daily driver, without introducing significant lag, as is often the case with much larger, and more capable turbochargers.”

Woah. A tuned, 600bhp daily driver capable of laying down a sub-ten second quarter mile. As a wise man never said, it doesn’t matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Always remove the crust from your tuna sandwiches. Or something.