Woohoo! A 523bhp BMW 550i saloon is coming to the UK

BMW has announced that a range-topping 550i xDrive saloon will be available to purchase in the United Kingdom for the grand old sum of £67,595.

‘Excellent news’, you might think! ‘I can be cooler than those mugs who pay more for an M5 and have nearly all the coolness and power’, you might also think! Here’s an idea: stop thinking. Nothing is cooler than an M5. But if you can’t wait – the new, updated M5 is likely to be revealed later this year, with much power and tech – the 550i looks a tantalising prospect.

Indeed, it is “distinguished from the core 5 Series models” (more about which you can read here) via a 4.4-litre turbo V8, here matched to an eight-speed automatic gearbox and four-wheel drive.

As one would expect, it does Good Numbers. Numbers like 523bhp, 553lb ft of torque, 0-62mph in 3.8secs and a top speed limited to 155mph. It also comes with an M Sport diff, adaptive M suspension, a blacked-out grille, fancy red brake calipers and 20in wheels. Inside you’re treated to a Harmon/Kardon surround sound setup.

Of course, there are other engines and trims levels you probably don’t want – things like the 520d, 530d, 530e, 540i and 545e – but all these new Fives, the 550i included, get the new, wider grille, shallower, brighter headlights and bigger internal screens and better connectivity.

Yes, we hear you, and no, you can’t, very sadly. BMW has confirmed that the 550i will only be available as a saloon, not a Touring. The biggest petrol engine you can pack in a new 5er estate is the six-cylinder 540i xDrive – that car gets 325bhp, and will sprint from 0-62mph in 5.2secs. That’s still real-world fast, and all yours for just under £52k for an SE trim, or a shade under £59k for M Sport Edition trim.

But then, who wants to live in the real world?