Meet the new Porsche Cayenne Platinum Edition

Strikers and midfielders of England, meet the Porsche Cayenne Platinum Edition.

The first point of note is that it is not made from platinum. This is bad news on the bragging rights front, but better news when it comes to the car’s affordability. And weight.

Secondly, it’s probably a sign that the Cayenne doesn’t have long for this world. In its current generation, Porsche’s biggest SUV has been with us since 2010, so a replacement would seem due anyway. And with its second cousin, the VW Touareg, soon getting a new version, the Cayenne is surely heading along the same path.

So what’s new, you ask? Um, not much. It’s essentially the ticking of lots of lovely options boxes in a value package.

That means 20-inch RS Spyder alloys, posh dynamic headlights, parking sensors, a 14-speaker Bose stereo and heated front seats. And fear not, for Premier League training ground car park kudos is assured thanks to ‘‘Platinum Edition’ embossed stainless still door sills. Thank God.

Less good news for showy left wingers is that Platinum status can be applied only to diesel and hybrid Cayennes, and not the shouty Turbo and GTS models.

Prices start at £55,134 for the 258bhp Cayenne Diesel, or £66,919 for the 410bhp Cayenne S E-Hybrid, meaning a rise of around £2,500 if you want to go Platinum. Or around one morning’s training for a top-flight footballer…