We need few things as much as this £500k carbon campervan

Carbon construction, a monstrously powerful V8 engine and a half-million-quid price tag. It sounds like we’re describing a new special edition McLaren, but those are actually three factoids describing something much bigger but no less magnificent. Meet the EarthRoamer LTi, a four-wheeled creation every bit as exciting as whatever Long Tail track variant next emerges from Woking. Well, to us at least.

What you’re essentially eyeballing is a Ford F-550 Super Duty truck with a carbonfibre house emanating from its bed. A 6.7-litre diesel turns all four wheels – knobbly tyred to the hilt – with 95 gallons of fuel ensuring you’ll get a very long way into the wilderness without stopping.

There, your lifestyle will be maintained by a 100-gallon water tank and a 11-kilowatt-hour lithium-ion battery pack. Switch your phone off and you can go off-grid for a very long time in here.

The LTi can accommodate up to six people, but the deeply cool interior can be designed and configured by EarthRoamer to suit your specific needs. Room for us and all of the dogs, please. Worth noting there’s a properly sized shower, too. No degrading crouching in here.

Should you care about performance, that stonking great V8 produces 330bhp and pushes it to the axles through a ten-speed automatic gearbox. But you’ll actually care more about just how flipping able this thing is when it comes to climbing up big things or dredging through deep things.

Prices start at $590,000, so once you’ve added a few choice options you’re looking at £500,000. It’d be rather a lot of nights dodging hipster AirBnBs to accrue that back, but that’s beside the point. We want this. Lots.