Land Rover Defender 130 - long-term review

The Defender has been on an off-road adventure, sent to act as support car for TG’s epic four-way off-road test just before Christmas. Hooray! Unfortunately, I wasn’t in the country so wasn’t around for said adventure… boo. So the Defender was left in the more than capable, experienced and ever-reliable hands of Ollie Marriage (outdoors enthusiast, default expedition leader) and Harry Rudd (video camera enthusiast, tasked with driving it the many miles from Sussex to Strata Florida in Wales and bringing it back unscathed). To explain what happened, I shall hand over to team Wales.

Mr Marriage first: “Quite funny to see a fountain gushing up from a Welsh bog. That’s what happens when you puncture a tyre underwater, so all I see from my vantage point in another Defender behind is water spouting into the air. It takes me a second to work out what’s going on. And a further second to realise I’m seeing double. Yep, the same rock slices the sidewalls of both nearside tyres. Swear words happen.

“It’s cold, wet, we don’t have much daylight, and – most critically of all – we’ve only got a single spare. We’ve bought this on ourselves. Jack’s Defender is wearing Continental CrossContacts rather than super-resilient, hard sidewalled off-road tyres as worn by the other Defender I’m driving… which also manages to puncture one of its tyres on the exact same rock. I don’t see the fountain, but the hissing I can hear clearly.

“Long, frustrating story short? This has all happened a long way from anywhere in remote Wales with no phone signal. Our only choice was to abandon the 130 overnight. The next morning we go through Land Rover Assistance, which means the AA has to turn up, ascertain it can’t do much to help unless it’s got a handy helicopter crane, then send for the cavalry in the shape of a pair of Land Rover techs. They arrive with a four spare wheels (overkill, but good overkill) and 20 minutes later we’re back running. Straight to the safety of the nearest forest track.”

And now, let’s see if Mr Rudd’s story correlates: “On the trail – in its highest suspension setting, loaded with photo and video kit - it was awesome. I felt like an off-road master. The car was set to auto and could sense water and rocks and ice and honestly we weren’t all that worried. We had done about an hour of scrambling, wading and relatively challenging rock crawling when it happened. I was operating the drone, Jordan driving, the ride felt weird and I asked if we had a puncture. We jumped out and discovered we’d been on the rim for about 50 metres.

“Like a swarm of worker bees, the TG team descended on the 130 and its banged up front right; the scent of primal manly joy filled the air, this was just another fun exercise, all part of the experience really. Fifteen minutes later I see a jet of water rocket up past the front passenger window. I had managed to puncture both the front left and back left tyre in one hit.

“Light fading. Spare tyres depleted. The decision was made to transfer the kit to the other vehicles and hope the 130 survives the night alone on the trail. Jack's words echoed in my head, 'whatever you do, just don't take it on the trail'. Land Rover made very quick work on the fix the following day. Utilising What Three Words to find it, and another Defender they arrived with a full set of spares for the poorly 130 and had it back on new boots in about 15 minutes.”

A few takeaways from all this. Ollie seemed to forget about the first puncture, or perhaps he was trying to sugar coat it? Harry is indeed an off-road master, if the aim is to puncture as many tyres as possible at the same time. Finally, if you’re going to take your Defender off-road for the love of god make sure it’s on the right rubber… and you’ve got spares.