Ineos Grenadier Quartermaster review

Unsurprisingly, the Quartermaster feels a whole lot like the standard Grenadier on the road. That means it certainly won’t be for everyone, with its hydraulically assisted recirculating ball steering setup requiring plenty of input and not self-centring itself. Oh, and the turning circle is a genuinely appalling 14.5 metres.

And yet we like it. The Quartermaster has a proper character all of its own and it requires actual effort to hustle down a twisty road. It’ll roll quite a bit when you do so and yet the suspension setup isn’t the softest over bumps. But at least with springs all round it feels a bit more car-like than most leafsprung pickups, whose rear ends can get rather bouncy when unladen.

What might shock you is the weight. Ineos is understandably coy about kerbweights, but this thing tips the scales at around 2.8 tonnes before you’ve put anything in it. Allow yourself extra time and space for stopping.

You like the engines, right?

They’re fantastic powertrains, there’s no denying that. The diesel is grunty and gets its 405lb ft of torque from low down in the rev range, but it’s actually the petrol that we prefer. There isn’t a huge difference in claimed economy figures (16.3mpg for the petrol, 21.5mpg for the diesel) and the straight-six BMW B58 is super smooth when paired with the eight-speed ZF auto. Also helps that it sounds purposeful and offers a little bit of turbo whoosh and whistle on the overrun. 

It’s not going to be as raucous as a Ranger Raptor, but in a straight drag race the monstrous Grenadier wouldn’t be far behind. Ford quotes a 7.9-second 0-62mph time for the V6 Raptor, while the petrol-powered Ineos will do the same sprint in 8.8s.

The Quartermaster is limited to 99mph though whereas the Raptor will plough on to 111mph. Useful facts and figures if you’re a plumber who regularly travels on the German Autobahn for work.

How is it off-road?

Great question. We’ve only done a bit of light off-roading in the Quartermaster so far, but everything points to it being just as tough as the Station Wagon and almost as competent. The steering comes into its own here as large bumps aren’t transmitted through the wheel and the simplicity of the Grenadier makes it easy to keep plodding on. In terms of modes, there’s one for driving on the road, one for driving off-road (which disables the parking sensors, start/stop and seat belt warnings) and one for wading.

We say almost as competent as the Station Wagon as of course some of the Quartermaster’s dimensions do get in the way. Its approach angle is still 33.5 degrees, the wading depth remains the same at 800mm and there are still uphill/downhill assist functions, but the longer wheelbase means your breakover angle is 26.2 degrees and your departure angle is 22.6 degrees.

Without much weight at the rear, you may also find that on slippy surfaces the rear wheels go hunting for grip slightly. Luckily the optional BFGoodrich all-terrain tyres are pretty handy at finding said grip.

Is there anything else I need to know? 

One slight annoyance – Ineos has now been forced to fit a speed limit warning system that switches on every time you turn the car on. It involves a real dive into submenus to switch it off, but we’re assured that you can set up a shortcut and use the favourite button on the centre console to remove it right away.