Alfa Romeo Stelvio Quadrifoglio review

Prices start at £87,195 and finance rates are unlikely to be as competitive as the AMG / M / RS set on account of Alfa’s shakier residuals and less than stellar reliability rep, though we’ll be living with a Stelvio QF in the coming months and reporting back regularly on what’s fallen on and how long the dealer took to stick it back together.

Claims of 23.9mpg are broadly achievable so long as you’re not heading to a racetrack, but the range computer can get awfully pessimistic – it told us that the car would only proceed for another 145 miles after a few minutes of spirited, soulful Italian driving.

There’s not much to option beyond Alfa’s wonderfully diverse and extrovert colour palette – even telephone dial wheels come as standard. Because this is about as useful off-road as a Gucci high-heel, there are no all-terrain tyres or rough-road packs. Towing? That’s not very stylish now is it?