Top Gear’s Top 9: TG24’s parpiest moments

Nine-stage traction control is very clever’n all, but if you give that kind of tech and firepower to TG it’s very quickly going to become a contest of ‘who can turn it off the most and get away with it.’ The GT R Pro is extremely friendly despite looking like a spaceship hot-rod, but that doesn’t stop the act of turning down the safety nets being a daunting one. This is 'Drift Mode' from the olden days.

The new turbocharged Atom 4 has the accelerative properties of an electron. It is devastatingly, absurdly fast. And yet, it’s a manual. You have to take your left hand off the steering wheel, grasp a metal lever and tug it in order to change gear and begin the onslaught once again, travelling at what feels like the speed of sound. Just grabbing third in an Atom is a more gratifying, sweaty experience than going a whole lap of Portimao in the Tesla Model 3.

The McLaren 720S Spider is the fastest car at TG24. Down the pit straight, it’ll nudge 170mph. What that does to one’s hair isn’t really suitable to display on a family website.

The glaring LEDs, the menace of the ‘eyeless’ face, the sheer speed and attitude of it – the Porsche 935 track special is rather intimidating when it rushes into the rear-view and bullies its way past, leaving nothing but a rude flat-six blare and the shadow of a gigantic wing behind.

The Tesla Model 3 Performance drives really well – for an EV. But it’s about as happy being subjected to repeated circuit abuse/testing as a Range Rover would be. The sheer heft and the numbness of its brakes as the regen effect is balancing with the need to ‘not crash into the nearest barrier’ makes linking up a neat lap a fraught affair. And you’ll only get one in before they overheat...

In fairness, the gravel-rally spec Hyundai i20 WRC car was a riot at Portimao. Still, woe betide the individual who has to crowbar Mr Harris out of its deeply bolstered seat in order to go and drive cars that couldn’t manage an entire lap of the circuit sideways. Eventually we had to bait him from the rally special with promises of wine gums and a lifetime subscription to Combat Short Wearer magazine.

Did you know that VW ID R actually stands for Very Weird Incredible Discreet Racecar? We did, because we just made that up. But there is nevertheless something uncanny about such a fantastically aggressive and extreme-looking machine making no noise whatsoever beyond the whirr of its cooling fans. It’s almost ghostly, and at night, downright alarming when it wafts into the pits without any headlights ablaze.

Yep, TG24 ain’t just for track cars. It’s also for off-the-beaten-track machines. Rally car with full-house WRC team support? Check. Diesel pick-up truck with Baja-ish suspension? Also check. Mind you, keeping the Ford Ranger Raptor on the back wing of an i20 WRC is a job for people with little fear or intelligence. Ah. That explains a lot.

Ten grand, the carbon wheels on the Megane RS Trophy R. Ten thousand pounds – that’s almost twice the budget for the TG24 team’s supply of pit garage crisps. Small wonder that when it came to packing it away onto Renault’s lorry, the process took twenty minutes, caused several nervous breakdowns and in the end resulted in the car being swapped onto standard ‘metal’ wheels before it was strapped onto the truck. Phew.