Gallery: the best of the Shanghai Motor Show

China. Home to over 1.3 billion people, more than 100 car brands and the current subject of such fatigue-inducing corporate speak as ‘premium segment', ‘growth potential', overcapacity', ‘customer segmentation' and ‘brand positioning'. You still with us?

Car brands outside of China are absolutely desperate to harness the raw potential of the most populous country in the world, because it will make them lots of money. For example, the VW Group - comprising VW, Audi, Seat, Lamborghini, Bugatti, Porsche, Skoda et al - will invest some €9.8 billion over the next three years; Jaguar Land Rover wants to increase its sales by 20 to 30 per cent, and even Peugeot says its biggest market is now in the Far East.

Which is all fine and dandy, but here at TopGear.com, you probably want a little more than business analysis, incredible though the numbers are. You want to see the Jinbei Big Sea Lion, the Jonway Aperta and a flame-liveried Geely monster truck. You want to see a gold minibus, you want to see a motorhome named ‘Wingle', you want to see a gullwinged Buick and above all, you want to see a 6ft+ motorshow girl being mobbed by an enthusiastic and friendly crowd of Chinese auto show enthusiasts.

So CEOs may bang on about China's car ownership - some 80-100 per 1000 people, still far less than this side of the world - but what's the fun in a motor show without the ‘show'? Click through for TopGear.com's sometimes unscientific rundown of the 2013 Shanghai Motor Show, with added guards and creepy baby dolls. Seriously.

Words: Vijay Pattni

The Audi RS7 is NOT pleased to see you. Step away from the grille...

Beijing Auto's B40, for the discreet, subtle off-roadsmith amongst you

GAC Fiat's Freemont. You're looking at the car, right?

Beijing Auto BJ212: adorable little off-roader, LOVES muddy walks in shallow paths, would suit ageing couple. Not house-trained

BAIC's concept laughs at the SLS's puny gullwing doors and vows to crush them

New Bugatti GSV, which is the same as Old Bugatti GSV, but now with added Orange

Haval's Dakar challenger. And its new driver*

*Not really the new driver

The friendly, cuddly and somewhat terrifying side of the Shanghai show

It's the Great Wall Wingle Motor Home!

Creepy baby doll diaries part 1

"Keep your foot in, they said. It'll polish right out, they said..."

Subaru's BRZ GT300 racer. Yes. 

Toyota's own Cool Wall needed some work. Good effort though

Changfeng's City Concept. Good effort, but we prefer Jezza's P45

LaFerrari says ‘Ni Hao'

Good news! The Ford Escort is back! Bad news! It's only for China

Oh dear, that's not gone well, has it?

Run Neo, run

Foton's minivan. Clearly, the company is a fan of gold

Great Wall's Olay, now guaranteed to reduce wrinkles in nearly 1 per cent of buyers*

*Not strictly true

Hyundai's HCD-14 concept finds your lack of faith disturbing

It's the V12 Icona Vulcano, which you can read more about here

Acura NSX. Shut up and take our money

Red Flag's L7 limousine, like a modern Phantom that crashed head first through the 1950s

It's the Jinbei big sea lion!

What does the Internet make of Tongji-Auto's Volare?

MG's SUV. A little bit angry

Motor show assistant greets the fans

Gullwing diaries part two: the Buick Riviera

48 years ago, Chevrolet made the Malibu. Today they make the Trax. Progress? Discuss

The Tallest Woman In Shanghai once again

Jaguar's F-Type poses with La Familia. We've driven it, and it's rather excellent...

Creepy baby doll diaries part 2

Jonway Aptera, also known as The Jetsons in China!

If you look closely, this show-going RCZ sports the last generation headlight structure

Geely's flame-liveried mini-monster truck is like, totally rad, dude

A man with a helmet, yesterday

Gullwing diaries, part three: the Yangfeng Vistion Glide concept