Rolls-Royce Phantom news - Death-proof Phantom - 2009

Oh, the inhumanity! The terrible inhumanity! Etcetera! We understand companies that provide armour-plating for cars need to test their services, but why do they need to test it on an actual Rolls-Royce Phantom?

Don’t get us wrong. We’re truly impressed by the work that German firm Mutec has done to this Phantom. Not that we’re experts on the world of bullets and Large Explosions, but some of the things they’re doing to that poor Phantom seem downright dangerous, and there it is, absorbing all the bullets and Large Explosions with nothing more than an aristocratic shrug.

But once again, why? Why do you need to destroy – OK, slightly destroy – a £300,000 Roller to prove the effectiveness of your vehicle armour? What’s wrong with a nice Daewoo Matiz?

That said, how cool would it be to roll up to a posh cocktail party in a Phantom dotted with bullet holes and scorch marks?

“What, this? Oh, nothing. Just a bit of a scuffle with the local militia. Harmless fun, really. I could murder a Martini, though…”