Mercedes S-Class Experimental Safety Vehicle news - - 2009

If you're planning on having an accident, take our advice and wait a few years. At least until this S-Class Experimental Safety Vehicle (ESV) goes on sale, which we hope it does, because it will make all crashes much more pleasant. So buckle up, aim for something rigid and immovable, then get ready for the science. 

First, we have inflatable metal structures. Yes, inflatable metal. Sounds like something from Transformers and it kind of is - metal sheets are stowed within the crash structures, which pop out if the car senses an imminent smash, adding strength to the affected area. So it's telepathic, too.
 
Then, underneath the car there's a ‘braking bag', which fills with air and skids along the tarmac, creating friction to help it stop quicker - kind of like a fat man's belly if he trips and grinds the pavement.
 
The ESV has a ‘pre-safe pulse', too. This pumps air into the seat bolster to shove you into the middle of the car, away from the point of impact, and helps keep your spleen in one piece.
 
Finally, Mercedes has added a touch of showbiz with ‘spotlight lighting', which picks up hazards and pinpoints them with a beam of light. Things such as pedestrians in dark clothes, wandering the streets at night. Or ‘burglars' as we call them.
 
Mercedes has a history of this sort of thing. Back in 1974 it made its first ESV, which led to safety features such as head restraints, seat belt tensioners, crash structures and airbags being used in almost every car made since.
 
Quite important stuff, then. And if the tech from this latest effort catches on in the same way, that fat man's belly could be saving your life sooner than you might think.