Ten Things We Learned This Week

Well, actually we don’t. Nevertheless, some enterprising geeks behind upcoming PC game Star Citizen have produced Galactic Gear, featuring three scruffy types in an overheated intergalactic shed just off the seventh ring of Saturn opining on what can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 Parsecs. 

It’s pretty good – have  a watch here.

The recent ups and downs of Lotus have made for a gripping soap opera, but unfortunately with more downs than an Eastenders Christmas special. 

And now Hethel is yet again generating glum headlines, as new chief executive Jean-Marc Gales proposes restructuring that could cost 325 jobs – around a quarter of its 1215-strong global workforce. It’s the latest step to arrest ongoing mismanagement too deep to forensically analyse here.

Gales said: “We understand the concerns that this proposal will create. We deeply regret the potential impact any reshaping of the business may have on our employees and their families. We have worked very hard to avoid the need to make the proposal, but do believe that it is now essential. It is in no way a reflection on our employees who have shown nothing but dedication to us and have worked tirelessly to support Lotus.”

Here’s to Lotus coming back strongly, and soon. 

It’s going to be called the La Lamborghini (or “Lala” for short), take design inspiration from the Nissan Cube, and will feature a W16 pushing out at least 1000bhp. 

Not really. We don’t know what it is yet, other than information gleaned from the cryptic picture above and the line “once perfection is achieved, you can just double it”. 

Take from that what you will, although those words hint at four doors, which could hint at a new Espada… 

It will appear first at the Paris Motor Show, and rest assured you’ll get all the pictures and inside info on TopGear.com when it does…  

Finding your purloined classic before it’s burned to the ground or hustled out of the country must be fantastic. Imagine the euphoria after a build up of 46 years…

Ivan Schneider, an 82-year-old from Florida, has experienced just that this week. His Jag XK-E (E-Type in British) has been recovered from a Netherlands-bound shipping container nearly five decades after it was nabbed from outside his Manhattan apartment.

It’s not in the best of nick, but after missing it dearly all that time he’s treating it to a thorough restoration as a welcome home gift. Here’s to the prodigal Jag… 

Source: LA Times

Or more specifically, having your armpit hair SET ON FIRE causes crashes. Such childish pranks are the hallmark of any teenage party sorely lacking in blue WKD and Twiglets, but one mischief-making passenger in Idaho, USA decided to inflict such hilarity upon the 18-year-old driving him and two other teens in the early hours of the morning. 

Nobody on board the inevitably crashed Ford Bronco had their seatbelt on, but luckily no life-threatening injuries happened. The armpit hair attacker was ticketed with ‘interfering with the driver's safe operation of a vehicle’.

Source: KTVB.com

Peugeot released details of its 500bhp Quartz SUV concept this week, news that pleased us greatly. But many, many years before it made hot hatches that throw unwitting young drivers into hedges and large four-doors that depreciate in front of your very eyes, the Peugeot name was synonymous with grinding pepper. Seriously. 

If you’re heartbroken to have missed those days, then fret no longer: the heirs of Peugeot’s founder Arnaud are buying the family business back into sneezy condiments after reducing their majority stake in the car business. 

2013 pepper-pot revenues were 27 million euros a year, compared with car sales of 54.1 billion euros, so it's not really a game-changer to the family holdings. But good news if you want the top of your pizza to taste of lift-off oversteer. 

Source: Bloomberg 

That, dear Internet, is entrepreneur Stephen Hung, who this week announced his intention to purchase 30 extended wheelbase versions of the Rolls-Royce Phantom, the largest fleet of Phantoms ever assembled.

Not because he wants one for every day of September, April, June and November (though we kind of wish it was), but for his Louis XIII hotel in Macau.

Macau is rapidly evolving into the luxury capital of the world,” explained Hung. “Louis XIII and RR Motor Cars share the same philosophy: to deliver the perfect experience to the world’s most discerning customers.

Such discernment must have raised some eyebrows back at RR HQ, mind; the Rollers are red, get chequered-print seats, gold-plated accents, Louis XIII stitching on the headrests and red inserts on the dials. 

You have to admit though, the man knows how to wear a suit.

Well, sort of new. TG’s favourite little donkey gets a new chrome front grille, some new trim on the back, new upholstery and seats across the range and the same £9,495 starting price.

Two and four-wheel-drive versions are on offer, with engines ranging from a 105bhp 1.6-litre petrol engine, and a 1.5-litre diesel with 110bhp. Nice.

Now, moving on... 

In 1984, Nismo was born. In the 30 years from then until now, it has reeled off quite a roster of astonishing cars, not least the Nismo GT-R.

Now, its currently working hard on building an Audi, Porsche and Toyota-beating LMP1 contender as it prepares for its 2015 Le Mans entry. The car will be named, fittingly, the ‘GT-R LM Nismo’. We can’t wait for that to land.

In the meantime, click here for a digital visit to its Japan HQ. Here’s how awesomely nerdy Nismo is: the toilets have camshaft door-handles. Yes.

It’s happening. God help us all