10 things we learned this week

We've all been there. You're driving down the Long Island Expressway in sub-zero temperatures. You bin your car into the centre reservation. What to do?

Strip naked and start running, apparently. New York State Police this week arrested an unnamed man caught nudily sprinting along a major highway after smashing his car into the ‘center median'.

"One of my troops was driving by and saw him running down the highway naked," revealed New York State Trooper Richard Gantt, a man clearly given to telling it like it is. "He decided to take off all his clothes."

The man's charges have not yet been revealed. Unlike the rest of him.

It's started. Citroen only revealed its all-new C1 city car a couple of weeks ago, but already the special editions have started flooding in. At the upcoming Geneva show, we'll see the ‘Swiss & Me' C1, a ‘bold and unique' concept that, says Citroen, ‘pays homage to the city of Geneva, an emblematic and cosmopolitan city with a high quality of lifestyle'.

Top Gear sincerely hopes Seat counters with a special edition of its smallest city car honouring the Belarusian capital. Yeah, the Minsk and Me Mii.

As TopGear exclusively revealed, Hennessey's Venom GT this week cracked the 270mph barrier, making it the fastest production car in history. Depending on how you define ‘fastest'. And indeed ‘production'.

To really annoy all those of you infuriated by us Brits' ability to juggle metric and imperial measurements, 270mph is about 120 metres per second. Which means the Venom could cross this 120-metre bridge in approximately, um... hang on...

Click here for more astonishing facts and figures on the Venom's record run

Good news! It's another suite of helpful tips from the ever-insightful chaps at the Institute Of Advanced Motorists. This week, Britain's TOP ADVANCED DRIVER Peter Rodger is helping motorists ‘stay focused and not get distracted by the kids in the back'.

Alongside revolutionary tips including ‘take plenty of food and drink' and ‘find somewhere for them to let off steam, such as a playground or park', Rodger also recommends hiring a fully-grown bodyguard to keep your pesky infants from their nefarious ways.

"A second adult in the car to look after the children makes a massive difference, leaving the driver to concentrate on driving," Rodger sagely notes. Top Gear unhesitatingly recommends this guy.

Or maybe this guy.

This guy might be pretty good too

This is Hyundai's latest concept. It's a Juke-rivalling crossover-coupe-thing that, says Hyundai, demonstrates the firm's brave new styling direction. It looks good.

Unfortunately it is called the Intrado. Hyundai informs us this is the technical name for the underside of an aircraft's wing. To TopGear, INTRADO sounds very much like the last thing you'd hear from a South American prison guard as he entered your cell while slipping on the rubber gloves.

McLaren this week released many facts and figures concerning its ‘12C rebooted', the 641bhp 650S. Perhaps most spectacular of these was the Mac's 0-124mph time: 8.4 seconds. That's 0.7 seconds quicker than the definitely-not-slow Ferrari 458 Speciale. That's absurdly fast.

And again raises the question: doesn't this render the still-on-sale 12C utterly redundant?

In commemoration of the Venom's 270.49mph run, we put together a gallery of the fastest production cars in history. It included a little-known German tuner car called the ‘Bugatti Veyron'. As the eaglest-eyed of you spotted, in the background of the photo of said ‘Bugatti Veyron', a Range Rover appeared to be ploughing itself into the scenery at high speed.

Some of you demanded an explanation for this mysterious visage, so here it is: this is Top Gear. This stuff happens.

Surrey police this week stopped and fined a cyclist spotted pedalling for several miles along the hard shoulder of the M25, Britain's busiest motorway.

Upon being apprehended, the cyclist told officers he had been following his phone's navigation system. Presumably because his navigation system assumed he was in a car rather than on a two-wheeled, human-powered spindle of metal.

"The cyclist was taking a short cut home, and was following a satellite navigation system on his mobile phone," explained Surrey Police's Sergeant Phil Dix. "It is extremely fortunate that there was a safe outcome, especially as he had crossed several slip roads coming off the motorway."

The cyclist was fined £50, and told he should really upgrade from his Nokia 5110.

Clearly taking inspiration from TG's legendary Espace-cabrio, California-based Newport Convertible Engineering has announced it is to create a Nissan GT-R convertible. So that's 545bhp, a 0-62mph time potentially under three seconds... and no roof to protect your terrified, gurning face from wind, hail or birdstrike. We're pretty sure this contravenes at least three of Newton's laws.

The Mini Clubman has always been a weirdly apertured oddity, with a single door on its left but an extra reverse-hinged suicide affair on its right.

The new Clubman, however, shall be far more sensible. Mini has shown a concept Clubman that reveals the second-gen mini-estate shall do away with the asymmetric arrangement of its predecessor in favour of a far more sensible... six-door layout.

Yes, six. Two on the left, two on the right, two at the back. Come to think of it, can we classify the bonnet as a ‘door'? And what about the fuel cap? All hail the eight-door Clubman!