Gallery: more tempting military machinery

Wouldn't life be better if you owned a bullet-proof Jaguar? Or 30 Gazelle helicopters? Or a combat tractor? Or an armoured repair vehicle?

The answer is yes. Yes it would. And you can.

Witham Specialist Vehicles Ltd - as featured on Sunday's show - will sell you all of those things (subject to export licensing) and many other enticing ex-military machines. Sadly, no test drives are available.

Viewing is strictly by appointment only, but to give you a tantalizing glimpse of its inventory, we've plucked ten items from the current stock list. Simply click forth.

Want more? Visit Witham's website.

Are your prankster pals always hiding landmines on your driveway? Throwing stingers under your tyres? Or opening fire on your car with high-powered rifles? Never be red-faced again with this fully armoured Jaguar XJ8 L. As well as a 4.0-litre V8 Petrol engine, it features protection to doors, underside and windows. There's also a tyre pressure monitoring system with special run-flat rubber, built-in fire extinguisher system, PA and intercom, front and rear strobe lights, siren with whoop and wail facility, anti-tamper exhaust, fuel system protection and an auxiliary battery supply.

Whether you're looking for the beginnings of an air force, to install some alternative garden ornaments or just fancy 30 unique conversation pieces, the more you think about a small fleet of Gazelle helicopters, the harder it is to imagine life without them. All are available complete and with the necessary paperwork and logbooks to take flight TODAY!

For the militia on a budget there's this - an APC tracked carrier. But just because it's cheap doesn't mean all luxuries are eschewed. It's got a glamorous Rolls-Royce diesel engine.

Finished in sumptuous drab roll-on paint (and optional camo-net textured roof), these ex-MoD 3.5-litre V8 Landies feature heavy duty Wolf rims, a front bull bar, fold-down mesh windscreen protectors, armoured glass and beautifully applied conflict-zone patination.

Never visit a petrol station again! Take it with you when you move! And hide your colossal fuel reserves from the neighbours! There's literally no good reason why you shouldn't buy this wonderful aluminium Thompson Carmichael 32,000-litre tanker/trailer. Features include an overhead walkway (with pull-up guide), Wabco brakes, tri-axle design and an Avery Hardoll meter for dispensing fuel.

How many times have you wished your tractor was fully armoured? Or your armoured personnel carrier had a digger bucket on the front? Behold the Combat Engineer Tractor. Powered by a Rolls-Royce diesel engine, it features two driving positions, 17 tons of heft, room for two passengers, 480km range and dizzying 34mph top speed.

Like green things? Don't like £9,500 in your bank account? Buy this. It's a 6x6 low ground pressure all-terrain mobile platform. Powered by the hardy Volkswagen ADE 1900cc turbocharged engine, you control it with the handlebars at up to speeds up to 34mph. It can also be fitted with tracks.

Whether its helping to fetch your cat from a tree or delicately storing armaments, there's little this articulated forklift can't handle. It's got a 4000lb capacity, power runs through all four wheels and there's a side shift and inner mast for precision loading.

Nothing says I love you like a tank with a crane on the roof. Which is worth noting if you and your loved one have an anniversary or birthday looming. Swinging at up to 3.96 meters from the Hiab crane while admiring the spotless olive-green paint, it'll be like the day you first met.

Did you buy several unnecessary ex-military vehicles on an impulse? One day, they'll break down. And you need to be prepared. With this. It's a 6x6 Foden recovery vehicle that was in full operational service just 25 years ago. Its features include full tow and winch facilities, which can handle up to 30 tons.