Carbage

You know what they say - one man's meat is another man's floppy fibreglass spoiler.
But thankfully Top Gear is here to ridicule the clueless by bringing you the best chavved-up motors and tasteless tat. Welcome, then, to Carbage.

Squint really hard and this could be a Rolls-Royce Phantom. No? Squint harder. Harder. Can't see anything at all? There y'go.

Pink disease

Toyota MR2, Corvette C6... can you spot anything else in there?

The owners of this van are obviously mad, free-lovin' hippies. Who live in a semi in Kettering. Far out, man.

Doesn't this remind you slightly of that Skoda Fabia cake advert? Only far less appealing. Or edible. Or acceptable in any form.

We love the sign behind the Escalade that reads 'MORE CARS INSIDE!'. Could they be even worse? Impossible, surely.

Did you know that the Vauxhall Astra was originally called the Vauxhall Castration until a few letters rusted off? No, it's not true. It could be, though.

Is it a car? Is it a bike? Whatever it is, get it out of our sight...

The experiment to clone a Citroen C4 with Darth Vadar was cruelly sabotaged by untalented graffiti artists

It's a BMW Isetta with flame paint-job. Like Satan's own Smart car

Doesn't that bonnet air intake look like a cat's nose? Oddly disturbing

Wanting to disguise your Lada is understandable, but we'd recommend a big shed. Not a tin-foil snowplough

There's nothing more aggressive than a bright pink paintjob and a line of wobbly fog lamps.

Ever wish you hadn't started the job?

An amazing collision of chintz and bling culminating in a creation of such monstrosity it needs to be destroyed. Immediately.

Just hideous. Imagine standing back from this creation and thinking 'yup, I'm finished here'. Unvelievable.

They've got to be having a laugh. Even if they're not, we are.

The mistake was thinking you could actually improve a Tigra in the first place.

Just a paintjob away from the most spectacular waste of money known to man.

Got any more munters we can chuckle at? Send in your monstrosities to tgweb@bbc.co.uk.