Fiat 500 electric - long-term review

Towards the end of 1989’s ­­Batman, Michael Keaton’s (grossly underrated) Bruce Wayne gives us an insight as to why he dresses up as a giant bat and beats criminals to a pulp with his bare hands.

“It’s not a perfect world,” he growls at Kim Basinger’s Vicki Vale.

Why, you might reasonably ask, are we referencing a 30+ year old superhero film on a page about an electric Fiat 500? Wayne’s sentiment struck me as I was avoiding yet another poorly executed driving manoeuvre – and therefore avoiding an accident – during a city hop in the 500e. It’s very much not a perfect world. 

Someone had pulled into my lane unexpectedly and sharply, which had caused my otherwise serene progress to be interrupted. I slammed on the brakes, which combined with the excellent regenerative braking, brought the 500’s speed down quickly. That meant I had to jump on the accelerator again to get up to speed once Helpy McHelperson in front had gone on their merry way.

All this meant I scrubbed off miles of range that could have otherwise been deployed for forward momentum. Humanity, unfortunately, had struck again.

Same story on a dual carriageway. I was pottering along nicely, efficiently and right on the 500e’s digital range projections when I came up against an enormously erratic driver. Slow in the first lane, I attempted an overtake… at which point our unhurried genius decided on haste.

So I eased off the accelerator to slot back in behind. Guess what. Slow again. More useful range scrubbed off because I wasted precious battery reacting to someone else’s poor driving.

It struck me that the 500e’s projected range figures are designed for a perfect world; a world in which people drive predictably, conservatively and efficiently. That latterly point is hugely important in electric cars because charging points (when of course they actually work) haven’t yet caught up to the demand for EVs.

Indeed, the SMMT reported in February that while sales of electric cars rose by a whopping 586.8 per cent between 2019 and 2021, rapid- and ultra-charge point stock only grew by 82.3 per cent in the same period.

So yes, you can build the best electric cars with the best batteries and best will in the world, but they’ll always be outfoxed – at least right now – by humanity. Which brings us unceremoniously onto the latest episode of ‘let he who is without utter stupidity cast the first stone’…

I recently untethered the 500e’s rather delightful tan leather strap from the key fob to take a closer look. It’s a cool, lovely bit of Italian detailing. I then absentmindedly dropped it next to the 500e in the TG car park one evening and set off. Upon realising my mistake, I returned, thinking ‘it can’t have gone anywhere, it’s a secure car park’. But it had indeed disappeared.

Utilising Batman levels of detective skills, my investigation took in questioning my colleagues who came in after me. Nothing. I asked the security guards patrolling the floor. Nada. Another colleague suggested – as a joke – that rats might have taken a liking to the strap and its leathery deliciousness.

I took a punt and followed the trail of rat traps and droppings down towards the far end of the car park – we’re talking a good 50 metres – and lo and behold, there it lay, half eaten.

Like Wayne said, “it’s not a perfect world”.