Road Test: Mini Coupe 1.6 John Cooper Works 3dr

Of course, 218bhp at the front wheels comes with a bit of a price on its head. To bundle all the power on the road, there's a limited-slip diff, and that takes away some of the steering feel when you're feathering the throttle. It tramlines a little, too, on those mentally wide 18s. But hold tight, keep your aim, and it'll carry you through.

High-speed curves benefit from the new aero kit: a deep chin at the front, new sills, a tea tray at the back. It cuts lift to zero, and amazingly also reduces the drag coefficient from the standard Cooper S's 0.39 to 0.34. So the top speed is up to 146mph. Not really a Mini-sounding speed is it? Cutting drag and lift is a clever trick, and for it you can forgive the hideousness of the tail spoiler.

Those giant wheels carry 40-profile run-flats, so a happy-slappy ride is only to be expected, but cradled by the huge Recaros you can just about live with it. Tyre noise is more the issue on long journeys. And in the summer, you really would spend the 15kg - that's the only cost, for it's a free option - on aircon.

The lengthy name is needed because this car - the GP - is a derivative of the Cooper S With John Cooper Works Tuning Kit. Let's call them JCW GPK and JCW TK.

The JCW TK is a well hopped-up Cooper S, with stiffer chassis, bigger brakes and 210bhp, thanks to a faster supercharger, new air intake, fatter injectors, hand-ported cylinder head and loud exhaust. That makes a gloriously hectic Mini. This JCW GPK is a limited edition of the JCW TK, with a bigger intercooler. Result, 218bhp.

But the extra horsepower isn't a fraction of the difference between the JCW TK and JCW GPK. For a start, the GPK loses 50kg, thanks to a switch from steel to aluminium for the rear suspension trailing arms (7kg), that 15kg of aircon disappearing, and a loss of the rear seat, rear screen wiper, parcel shelf, the glovebox, a wad of soundproofing and various other bits and bats.

And then there's the aero stuff. And the unique wheel design, and some Recaros unavailable on other Minis, and a brace bar across the rear struts. And, finally, the dubious cosmetics.

With all the racket and the hard ride you could hardly bear this invasive little four-wheeled caffeine shot on a long journey, but for a quick thrash or a track day you'll be laughing like a hyena. At £22,000 it's a dear Mini but quite a special one. And you could say it's even good value.

It's such an oddball assembly job that they ship the raw bodies from Oxford to Bertone in Italy where it's painted and everything else bolted in - a process that must wipe out all the profit. Mini says the extras alone are worth £10,000. Still, don't weep too hard for them - only 459 are coming to the UK, out of just 2,000 worldwide.

Sooner - much sooner - than you think I'll be telling you about the all-new Mini. There's no doubt it'll be roomier and more refined. BMW will make damn sure it will be easier and more profitable to build too, which might take some of the Mini's specialness away. Which is why we should treasure this hand-made, cramped, tiresome and hilarious little car. The current Mini is going out with a bang.