Mini Cooper review

Twist the retro, key-like fob to start. While the Cooper C is rather subdued, in the Cooper S you’re met with a thrummy little burble which sounds like it’s being augmented through the speakers – it’s not the most authentic sounding hot hatch, in other words, but few cars in this class actually make an interesting noise. The Fiesta ST was a rare exception, now sadly consigned to history too soon.

You select Drive or Reverse via a stubby toggle switch on the centre console; a neat space-saving solution that pays homage to the original 1959 Mini toggle switches. We doubt many owners will bemoan the fact this means the ability to manually override gearshifts using the gearstick has disappeared.

Is it fast?

The Cooper C develops 156bhp and gets from 0-62mph in 7.7 seconds (the convertible takes 8.2s with its 161bhp), and the S develops 201bhp for the same sprint in 6.6s (or 6.9s in the drop-top). Respectable for a small hatch but easily at the mercy of most EV crossovers, such is the weird world we live in.

You might feel affronted that you need Sport trim and its bolshy body kit to get paddles used to interact with the gearbox, but the fact is the manual override is pretty slurred at best, and the gearbox’s coding makes good use of the 170/221lb ft of torque, resisting the urge to bung in an ill-advised lunge for second gear when joining a motorway.

And in fact, we preferred the lesser powered Cooper C, which you’re forced to work that bit harder. It’s by no means underpowered, it just feels that bit more engaging. Leans into the traditional Mini vibe, that.

Don’t tell me… it’s got go-kart handling?

Ugh, no. We’d never stoop to that level: this is a 1,300kg front-wheel drive hot hatch, not a lawnmower engine in a tubular frame with no suspension. But we digress. Mini’s ‘go kart’ marketing bent does get a tad tiring at times, and selecting ‘go kart’ mode on the ‘Experiences’ toggle and getting a “whoo-hoo!” from the speakers does nothing to change that impression.

Nevertheless, this is a fun car to drive; almost artificially agile in its responses to the steering just off centre and pleasingly happy to rotate on the (firm) brakes. It doesn’t have the ‘authentic’ performance car feel of a Fiesta ST or Hyundai i20N – it’s more caricatured than that, more exaggerated and cartoonish in its behaviour.

But it does a good job of making mundane journeys a tad friskier, and this latest car is better resolved at being a grown up premium pod when you just want to go from A to B without pretending you’re on a stag do grand prix.

Comfy? Refined?

Not a Cooper strong suit, traditionally, and the same rings true here, whether you go for the C or the S. In compressions and over crests the car’s taut, controlled damping are key to its agile, impish appeal, but if you’re spending the lion’s share of your driving in an urban commute then either Cooper will become wearisome.

The car’s nemesis is speed bumps, which it shudders over as if ice cubes have been tipped down its seat backs. It’s also un-fond of expansion joints on motorway bridges. See also, jarring, crashing protestations on level crossings.

A quick word on running costs: we averaged 40.5mpg in the C, compared to Mini’s official claims of 47.9mpg. That plays 44.8mpg in the S, so real world there’ll likely be minimal difference between the two.

And what of the convertible?

Everything we’ve said of the hard-top applies to the convertible: ostensibly great fun to drive, but not at all refined and with added buffeting for company. Stowing the roof requires a press ‘n’ hold of a button near the rearview mirror, then a second press to go from sunroof mode to the Full Monty. Sigh. If a cramped soft-top for less than £30k is what you’re after, why aren’t you reading our MX-5 review?