Maserati Quattroporte review

The Trofeo accelerates in the opposite way to an electric car. Clog it from a standing start and it basically dawdles about wiggling its hips while the Roman Empire-era traction control and gearbox engage in a heated argument. Eventually you skitter up to about 90, at which point the rear tyres suddenly find the traction to match the torque, whereupon you positively explode into the next county. Off the line? Bit of a handful. For overtakes, it’s a complete weapon.

Especially as they’ll never hear you coming. Tragically, Maserati’s V8 ‘ciao’ has been WLTP-filtered into near silence: the operatic raucousness of the old GTS engine is no more, and there’s no piped-in hi-fi auto tune either. So, you must content yourself with marvelling at how this two-tonne gondola goes around corners.

In the Sport mode, it’s spectacularly agile for something so long, but the pay-off is ride comfort less Trofeo, more wooden spoon. Soften things off with a prod of the damper button and the Trofeo becomes a bit of a waterbed at speed, but still isn’t compliant enough in town. It feels like the wheels haven’t quite been balanced properly, struggling to settle, egging you on to hurry up, gesturing in your face impatiently.

While there are modes to flick between, it’s not a car defined by them. The car defaults into Normal. There’s an eco-ish setting labelled ‘ICE’ or Increase Control and Efficiency, which sends the throttle response to sleep.

Pushing the Sport button does the opposite, and holding it down activates Corsa mode, which turns off all of the traction and stability control. Yikes.

Frankly, even when it’s switched on the rear axle can barely contain all 538lb ft. Got a steep driveway? Regularly pull out of uphill T-junctions? Good luck.

Still, this is a much more exuberant, driver-focused bit of kit than a Bentley Flying Spur V8 or an Audi S8. And that means it’s not as relaxing as those cars either. If you want a limousine that’s selfishly all about the driver, and you’re happy to roll up your designer sleeves and teach the Quattroporte some manners when it gets wayward, look no further.