Land Rover Discovery review

The thing about driving a Disco is that, well, it’s not a car you really drive. You guide it, two fingers on the steering wheel, elbow nestled on the captain’s armrest. There’s not a single iota of sportiness about it, and that’s fine, because Land Rover has the Disco Sport for that, and above that there’s the Rangie Sport.

There’s no doubt the Discovery is happiest blasting along a motorway, where wind noise is apparent but everything else gorgeously stable and refined, or on a sweeping A-road. In town or in the sticks, its sheer girth makes life fraught.

It’s a pity really: a Land Rover is a car built in the British countryside, for the British countryside, to be bought by people who own most of the British countryside. And yet, in its natural home, it doesn’t feel at ease. Don’t presume these things never go off-road – you’re up a verge twice a minute to squeeze past the hapless van or horse rider who’s dared to use the same lane as you.

Is the powerplant any good?

Unfashionable as it may seem, the Disco is a car built for diesel power, and what a diesel this D350 is. Here we find a big car with the motor it was destined to marry: a 345bhp, 516lb ft bruiser that’s every bit as quick as you need it to be. Even makes a nice noise, and Land Rover says it’ll do up to 34mpg. Reckon on 25-30mpg real world, or 500+ miles from a full tank.

The eight-speed gearbox is rarely caught out and, as per all the best luxury cars, does its job best by being completely unnoticeable. If you insist on taking over manually, the metal gearshift paddles are beautifully tactile but watch out for a thumb-slicing attempt as the wheel jiggles about off-road.

Speaking of, what’s it like off the beaten track?

As imperious as the big Landie is on the road, it’s even more impressive off it. The sense you can just point this car at any slope, any surface or any natural disaster and conquer it while having a heated back massage enjoying concert quality hi-fi audio is just delectable.

The ground monitoring Terrain Response system is a joy to behold, or rather, the readouts that show it opening and loosening diffs juggling traction or defying gravity on a tricky hill descent are stunning to watch.

It’s a spectacular melding of old school brute force, traction and green lane, mud plugging skill with fiendishly clever computing power. You simply will never need a better off-road car than this, which is just as well because with the possible exception of the hardier Defender, there is no off-road car that’s as talented – or as effortless – as the Discovery. In fact, it’s so brilliant, you have to wonder if it’s wasted in being confined to His Majesty’s highways and not so many of his byways.

Anything else?

Switching off the compulsory auto activating lane keep and speed limit assist requires toggling between High, Custom and Low modes using a button on the steering wheel, or diving into the touchscreen. Annoying, but usual story.

We’d also prefer a firmer response to the brake pedal. It’s a given that a 2.4-tonne luxo-tank takes a lot of stopping, but it’d be nice to feel there was a bit more braking left ‘in reserve’ when you’re merely slowing for a roundabout.