Ten things we learned this week: 13 January 2017 edition

As leaving presents, go, this one beats a scarf and a few drinks down at the Ploughman’s Arms. 

Jenson’s already blasted a hardtop 675LT around the Top Gear test track, but now has his quite talented hands on a 675LT Spider, which will likely keep him entertained during his 2017 sabbatical.

American Vice President (for a few more days, anyway) Joe Biden is, pretty famously, a massive petrolhead. 

It seems he’s also pretty parochial when it comes to his car purchases – after he leaves office on January 20th, his first order of business is apparently buying a Corvette.

V8-powered burnouts seem like a lovely way to deal with being out of a job and watching the opposition take over the White House.

When Kia brought out its first crack at a high-performance four-door saloon, it seems you all sat up and paid attention. Our Stinger piece has been the most popular story for most of the week – apparently, you want to know what a hi-po Kia is all about. 

And why wouldn’t you? With more power than a lot of its much more ‘premium’ rivals, this could be the first truly desirable Kia in history. And we’re totally on board with the idea of democratically priced performance.

However, with a price that’ll likely extend to £43,000 for the top-spec GT model, it’s not quite as accessible as we were expecting. In fact, that puts it smack bang in the firing line of some very big names.

The notoriously difficult – and often deadly – Dakar Rally has proven that it’s still the ultimate test of man and machine. Not even champions are immune – last year’s two-wheeled winner, for instance, now has a broken femur instead.

But Dakar, it seems, isn’t satisfied with a few broken bones and some mild electrocution – it’s now buried nearly half of the route under torrents of rain and even a landslide.

Of course, this is bad news for the racers, but it’s properly bad news for the people of Argentina, who are in the midst of a serious natural disaster. Here’s hoping the vast logistical support of the Dakar crews can lend a bit of support to the locals.

Monopoly, otherwise known as the cause of 90 per cent of sibling arguments, is currently holding a vote to decide what the future eight board pieces will look like. 

Unfortunately, this may mean that the best token, the Mercedes Silver Arrow-inspired ‘race car’, may be retired in favour of hashtags, sandals and even sliced bread. 

The good news, however, is that you can vote to make the best Monopoly set of all time, and save us from useless tokens like the cowboy hat, bunny slipper and wink face emoji.

Our perfect eight-piece set would include the original ‘race car’, then the NASCAR stock car, superbike, Vespa, monster truck, jet ski, F1 car and Cessna Citation jet.  

And then, at least, the argument over the best board piece can be a thing of the past.

One of the most successful men in recent F1 history – who, as Executive Technical Director, was responsible for one-two championship results for three years in a row – has now left Mercedes-AMG Motorsport, likely picking up a gig over at Williams.

Mercedes says he’s now on ‘garden leave’ which is a lovely way to say ’we’re paying out his leave but he’s not allowed back in the building in case he nicks our secrets’.

Now that the current-generation Civic Type R is on its very last legs, Honda has seen fit to bestow a fearsome special edition package on the last 100.

Now, steady yourselves for this raft of updates to the standard Type R. There’s a “black interior with red accents” and a “red rear wing end plates”. Phwoar.

A man from Doncaster has come under fire for parking across two spaces and has decided to defend himself in the local tabloids. Yep, with everything that’s going on in the world right now, this is what people are talking about.

It could be that people are enraged by occurrences that have little to no bearing on their lives. Or it could be that double-space parking is the most inconsiderate thing since not picking up after your dog. Either way, it’s got people up in arms on both sides. 

After a barrage of abuse on social media, the Yorkshireman has defended his parking technique, which he says is a deliberate effort to stop a litany of dents and scratches caused by other drivers opening their doors into his Astra VXR. He also says that he only does it in carparks with loads of free spaces, and that friends of his also employ the technique to preserve their paint jobs. 

So, where do you stand on it? 

Photo: Facebook

It seems the American Department of Justice is a long way from done with Volkswagen, even after exceptionally expensive penalties, cleanup and buyback costs.

It’s about to get far worse for the actual VW employees who were responsible for the diesel deception.

“This conspiracy involved flesh-and-blood individuals who used their positions within Volkswagen to deceive both regulators and consumers,” said US Deputy Attorney General, Sally Yates. 

To wit, the Department of Justice has formally charged six VW employees with crimes including conspiracy to defraud the US and violation of their Clean Air act, charges that carry decades in prison.

The longest-running car mystery in history (we think so, but we’re willing to be proven wrong) is finally solved: Homer Simpson’s car is apparently a Plymouth.

Now that the Plymouth brand has been defunct for more than 15 years, it’s likely safe for the cartoon to poke fun at the cut-price Chrysler with the ‘Junkerolla’ model.

The bashed-up pink four-door has conveyed perhaps the most famous animated man in history, as he ricocheted from misadventure to misadventure like a pinball, but until now has only had its origins hinted at throughout the series. It was apparently built in Croatia from old Soviet tanks, which is unlikely in a Plymouth, but remember that it’s not the best idea to try and apply logic to a cartoon.

Fans will remember that Homer said that the other Simpson’s car, a red family estate, was made in Guatemala. So, TopGearians, what do you think it might be?

Photo: Brickset