UK car parks are apparently in danger of collapsing because new cars are so heavy

Pessimists rejoice: there’s yet one more argument you can make for why everything is awful. And it comes from a pretty unlikely source: our old multi-storey car parks.

Yes, as well as being a key part of any number of car rebirthing schemes, bad raves and overhyped pop-up bars, our serried ranks of entirely rank car parks are apparently now in danger of falling in on themselves under the weight of modern, lardy cars.

An article in the Telegraph points to the added weight of batteries in EVs as the main risk factor, neatly sidestepping the fact that the average petrol-powered car is twice as heavy today as it was when these car parks were built. Which we’re positive is just an oversight.

At this point, we should probably point out that this warning comes on the back of new guidance from the British Parking Association (yes, a real thing, and no, we don’t think we’d be able to stay awake for a whole meeting) that suggests increasing the load bearing capability of new car parks to deal with the added strain of modern, massive cars. But an inspection of various car parks across the UK has shown that many aren’t up to the task of handling two-tonne behemoths masquerading as family cars.

So far, there isn’t a name-and-shame list. And, given that the guidance is coming from a trade association that represents car park operators, we’d say it’s probably not going to be forthcoming, either. So what is the industry suggesting?

Firstly, that all new car parks are stronger, as we said. But also a few mitigation strategies for older, weaker structures, such as putting EV chargers on the ground floor, widening car spaces to spread the load of fewer cars across the structure and putting weight limits in car parks.

Of course, there’s also one other answer that might work out pretty well: making a law that all cars must weigh a tonne or less...