This is the *deep breath* Dartz Prombron Black Alligator MMXX Black Tiger Lunar Year Edition

Internet, say hello to the Dartz Prombron Black Alligator MMXX Black Tiger Lunar Year Edition. Now prepare for some light insanity…

TG’s favourite Latvian carmaker has been building the Black Alligator for a few years now (although how many it’s sold is anyone’s guess). Whereas it was once based on the Mercedes-AMG GLS 63, though, this new special edition seems to be built on top of a Maybach GLS.

Dartz says it has used new military tech for the barmy, boxy and bulletproof exterior that keeps the weight down to the same as a standard Maybach GLS. It’ll also offer an extra 100, 200 or 300bhp on top of the donor car’s 550bhp. Because of course it will. 

The name is to celebrate this year being the Chinese Year of the Tiger, and Dartz says that orange is one of this year’s colours of wealth – hence the need for a special edition. 

What else? Well, apparently there’ll be eight exhaust pipes, because “each cylinder deserves to have its own pipe,” says boss Leo Yankelovich. The Maybach’s digital dials have also been swapped out for old school analogue units, and Dartz says it wants owners to look out on a dash that’s “classy and expensive”. Hang on, is this a new Dartz? “Maybe a bit overloaded with gold or diamonds, but that's an option.” Nope, same old Dartz. 

You can still have your interior trim made from “alligators, sharks and stingrays” and apparently the Black Tiger edition will be the first new car since the 1960s with a giant reel-to-reel tape player onboard. 

There are cameras for mirrors, electrochromic windows, hidden doorhandles (“with some electric shock, just in case”) and Dartz’s old Anti-Paparazzi Pack which includes sirens and laser lightbars to scare off undesirables. That’s if just seeing the Black Alligator Tiger thing hadn’t caused them to flee already. Oh, and of course you’ll be able to buy the Dartz with “any kind of crypto”.

Fancy trading in the family wagon for one, folks?