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Supercars
Top Gear's best adventures of 2016
Euro drives in the Focus RS and DB11, and hunting shipwrecks in a Hilux
Across Scotland without using any roads
“This is more complicated than it sounds. To drive across Scotland without using any public tarmac, even across just 65 miles of it, requires getting permission and arranging access from everyone who owns the land you want to drive on. Which is the logistical equivalent of organising a marching band consisting entirely of cats. I know, because I’ve tried to do it twice, but had to give up because I have a mortgage/life/want to do at least two other things before I die.”
Advertisement - Page continues belowTop Gear does the Mexico 1000
“’You know what that means, right?’ a cheery competitor says as he points to three emboldened exclamation marks. I nervously shake my head. “Death.” Oh dear. I’m in Baja, Mexico, the estranged slither of land that’s orphaned by California above it, and by mainland Mexico that’s a hop across the sea to the east. I seem to have bitten off more than I can chew.”
Racing the sun around Iceland in a Nissan GT-R
“Stanfords, the world’s best cartographic shop, deals me a pre-flight downer. Maps and guides to Iceland are to be found on its ‘Europe’ floor. I wanted it to be more exotic than that. At least another continent. Well, now, having sampled the whole thing in one headlong day, I can report it’s another world. Several other worlds actually.”
Advertisement - Page continues belowAcross Europe in the Aston Martin DB11
“’Bad decisions make good stories.’ A wise man once told me that. Well, I say wise, it was actually Rowan Horncastle somewhere in the back end of Romania after several pints of Plop, or whatever the local lager was called. I shan’t elaborate on where the evening took us from there, but the point is this: if there’s even a shred of truth in Rowan’s mantra, then this story was destined to be a winner from the start. Why? Because it began with a very poor decision indeed.”
Across Europe in the Ford Focus RS
“It’s properly caked on now: a crust of mud, salt and grime streaming down the boot in a series of abstract waves – an art car, Top Gear style. I’m surprised ‘clean me’, or the French equivalent, hasn’t been inscribed on the back by a witty local. Perhaps they appreciate that every particle of it has been hard-earned, that we’ve chosen to wear them like a billion tiny trophies, each a reminder of the colossal examination we set for the RS.”
Chasing the Northern Lights though Norway
“Perhaps the last thing you want to see when your plane touches down in Scandinavia are pictures of the Northern Lights in the UK. In your home town, no less, resplendent in green and purple. It’s certainly not ideal when you have a 500-mile drive ahead of you, purely to catch a glimpse of them.”
For Your Eyes Only: Lotus Exige Sport 350 in Italy
“Roger Moore was ‘my’ James Bond, and For Your Eyes Only was my first Bond film. It had the 2CV, the Esprit, skiing and Carole Bouquet. Ahh, Carole Bouquet. I don’t have Carole Bouquet. This is a great shame. I have Rowan Horncastle, and we’ve spent many hours driving from the UK crammed cheek by jowl in an Exige that’s trying hard to look like that Esprit Turbo, but somehow just isn’t as suave. I’m blaming the lack of Roger Moore for this.”
Advertisement - Page continues belowSpa Wars: Chris Harris drives the Spa 24hrs
“No matter how much you try to ignore the banter, they always get behind your eyeballs and rummage around the area marked ‘paranoia’. Not the opposition – well, of course you have to worry about them in any form of motorsport because you just know the rest of the grid would do most things short of loosening your wheel bolts to ensure some manner of advantage. Nope, it’s your teammates that always screw with you in the most pernicious way. ‘Blanchimont? Yeah, that’s easy flat in the dry.’ Easy flat – the lying b******s.”
Hunting for shipwrecks in the Toyota Hilux
“We’re a day’s drive south of Walvis Bay, a day since we departed anything that resembles infrastructure or civilisation or evidence of man. Literally nothing. No black top, no radio stations, no phone reception, not even a vapour trail in the sky. Just the Hilux.”
Advertisement - Page continues belowTop Gear visits the first Mike's Peak Hillclimb
“We’re in Middle of Bloody Nowhere, Mexico. Roughly 100 miles south-east of Ensenada at what could possibly be one of the most dangerous and exciting new races on the planet. It’s called Mike’s Peak. A 20-mile desert-based, flat-out off-road hill climb to ‘Mike’s Sky Ranch’ – a hedonistic retreat high up in the San Pedro Mártir hills.”
Why Iceland is wrong about the Mazda MX-5
“’What are you doing here?’ As I fill up ahead of an 828-mile road trip, an onlooking taxi driver is struggling to comprehend the car before him. And it’s hard to blame him. I’m told Mazda has sold just two current-generation MX-5s in Iceland, and now one sits in his gaze, wearing British numberplates.”
Hero Worship: retracing Merc's oldest racing win in a C63
“Merc-AMG’s newest, raciest Coupe is more than up to the test, but a large Mercedes lifting a wheel on a mid-corner bump before segueing happily into a gentle sweep of oversteer feels slightly more risky than it should, given the lack of run-off. But general hooliganism isn’t the point. We’re on the way to a tiny rural village called Athy, to begin a little adventure. An adventure that started 113 years ago.”
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