Opinion: the future of petrol is... artisan?

Your fashion sense is unique. Your tattoos are unique. Your man-bun is unique. So why shouldn’t your fuel be unique too?

That’s our philosophy here at FuelDog, where we believe a journey is something to be savoured. We’re an innovative, passionate start-up with a simple mission: to bring bespoke, artisan petrol to discerning drivers who want to enjoy every moment on the open road.

Sure, we know everything’s going electric nowadays. But as petrol-lovers, we don’t see that as a problem. We see an opportunity. An opportunity to make brimming your gas tank not a chore, but a treat.

Put it this way. You just need to get somewhere, sure, go get yourself a Nissan Leaf, go fill it with anonymous, sterile electricity. Nothing wrong with that. But if you want to really relish the drive, you want something with a story. Something crafted. Something… FuelDog.

We’ll level with you. Our petrols aren’t the cheapest. But, hey, love don’t come cheap. Every batch of FuelDog is hand-crafted by our master fuelsmith Dexter. He has a nose for the finest napthenes. He has a baffling selection of check shirts. He has an enormous and luxuriant beard despite being only 26.

Your big petrolliers – your BPs, your Essos, your Shells – we’re not knocking them. They dance to their tune, we dance to ours. They blend their bland, homogenous, same-every-time fuels from oils all over the world. Not for us. Each barrel of FuelDog is sourced from a single oilfield, reflecting the region’s unique terror, climate and human rights issues.

Which means that, like people, every batch of FuelDog is subtly different. Great news for making every trip truly unique, potentially terrible news for the knock sensor in your engine.

Here at FuelDog, we believe in time as an ingredient. Our brewing process begins with several billion prawns dying and falling to the bottom of the sea, whereupon they’re covered with a thick layer of sedimentary rock and subjected to intense heat and pressure to begin their slow, magical journey into complex hydrocarbons.

At FuelDog, we don’t rush this organic, natural process, not least because it started several million years before anyone at our start-up was born. When, and only when, this liquid gold decides it’s ready, our local teams coax it to the surface through traditional methods and generally no more than a handful of uncontrolled well-fires.

At FuelDog, we’re refining refining. We consider only the choicest fractions for inclusion in our artisan creations. After barrel-ageing at a container port somewhere in the Netherlands for three to six months, our fuels are then exported to market to be decanted into funny little copper stills, because nothing screams ‘old-timey and genuine’ like funny little copper stills. Of course our business model is totally sustainable and carbon neutral. Apart from the petrol bit. That’s still petrol.

So if you, like us, believe in special petrols for special moments with friends and loved ones, come join the FuelDog revolution. Where every journey is a feast for the senses, and an assault on the wallet.