Opinion: the BMW Concept XM makes me feel apathy, not anger

BMW M is fifty next year. It’s a big deal. I’d rank M Division’s produce – and its core model, the M3, in particular – alongside GT department Porsches, RenaultSport hot hatchbacks and V8 mid-engined Ferraris as the four pillars of the performance car world.

So I’ve probably got every right to be incandescent that the car apparently marking M’s big five-oh is the BMW Concept XM, an OTT SUV with a frankly ludicrous grille and a pointless amount of power. But I’m not angry, nor disappointed. I’m not even surprised.

In fact I’m kinda ambivalent to the whole thing. BMW and M are ultimately making what they know will draw up huge profit margins and a heck of a lot of publicity. The fact Audi, BMW, Mercedes and Porsche – among others – are trying to sell us an electric future while still launching vastly overpowered two-tonne lumps annoys the hell out of me, but the cars are clearly selling and these are companies making money, not charities saving the world.

Should M Division’s first standalone model since the very first – the delectable M1 supercar – be anything other than a posh plug-in hybrid crossover? I’d say so. Should it be a stripped-out, driver focused-sports car of some description? Absolutely.

But the fact that it’s not just makes me shrug my shoulders with apathy and cling – with ever whitening knuckles – onto the ‘this is what’ll fund an M4 CSL’ mantra that’s been borrowed and modified ad infinitum since the first Cayenne arrived and we all closed our eyes and thought of 911 GT3s.

One thing that does properly irk me, though. Why does the apparent halo product of one of the cornerstone purveyors of fast cars have to vaguely resemble a Skoda Kodiaq?