BMW M5 Touring: a V8 hybrid hit, or an overblown miss?

Greg Potts: “What really matters is that it even exists”

Look, let’s not get too bogged down by the weight. Or the price. Or the styling. No, what really matters is that the BMW M5 Touring even exists. Only twice in its history (well, now three times) has BMW decided to offer its iconic super saloon in estate form. We should be applauding the Bavarians for giving the whole fast estate thing another go.

Heck, it’s not like the E34 or E61 were commercial successes – BMW managed to sell just under 1,000 examples of the former and 1,025 of the latter.

So, well done BMW for rejoining the party. Any car that offers over 700bhp and space for multiple dogs is a winner in our eyes.

Sam Burnett: “I’ve already vowed never to let one out of a side street”

It’s long past time for a welfare check in Munich – BMW used to have its finger on the pulse, now we’re checking to see if it still has one. What happened to the stealthy quick estate?

The base 5 is no wallflower, but the M5 Touring looks as if they styled it by gluing on boxes from the office recycling bin. I’ve spent 20 minutes trying to find a good angle, but every single thing about this car is hatefully overblown.

It weighs over 2.5 tonnes! It’s over five metres long! It costs over £100k!

I’ve already vowed never to let one out of a side street, and I wouldn’t want to be seen in it – at least there’s a £20 bucket hat in the BMW shop I could pull down over my face.