Ten things we learned this week: 22 July 2016 edition

Say hi to Graham. He’s the product of a collaborative effort by a team of doctors, artists, and engineers from the Transport Accident Commission in Australia. Their task was to produce a human that’s evolved to such an extent it can survive car crashes. Graham is that human. He also might be your next swipe on Tinder, so keep your fingers primed.

See, car crashes are bad. And no matter how good crash safety gets, the difference between life and death is generally the strength of our puny, squishy bodies. And in comparison to Graham, we’re pathetic.

You may notice that he looks, um, rather different to you or I. His head is larger than your average human, with a helmet-like skull complete with crumple zones to protect his brain.

He has a concave, fatty face and has no nose to break. His expression is void. We’re not sure if that helps with crash safety, or is indicative of his character. Either way, Graham looks pretty chilled with life. And to be fair, we would be if we could crash a Caterham into a wall for fun.

You may also notice he has no neck. That’s to prevent leverage and your head falling off in a hefty shunt. His rib cage extends further up than normal, and his chest is complemented with air sacks that act as fleshy Citroen-style air bumps. They’re also reasonably foul-looking.

Leathery, thick skin shrouds his body. Even his new knees that move in all directions like a joystick. Meanwhile, his biggest party trick are his hooved legs that allow him to jump out of the way of oncoming traffic.

Now, who wants to go for a pint with Graham? We sure as hell do.

We don’t do caravans, but if we did, this is the one we’d have. It’s called the Bruder Exp-6 and it’s the most utilitarian and frankly excellent caravan we’ve ever seen.

Bruder has done away with the normal, plasticky white geriatric home on wheels look by making a towable, rugged and luxury abode for the road.

It’s got a 4mm galvanised chassis that can carry up to eleven times its own weight, but also techy suspension with 300mm of travel and bags of articulation. It’s fully sealed (remember to crack a window while sleeping, folks) has two fridges, a pantry and kitchen that can be accessed from inside or out, and a full bathroom. There’s no word on price yet, but expect it to be a lot more than a Buccaneer Cruiser.

However, one thing is for sure. The Caravan Club might get upset if you roll into the New Forest in one of these. Especially if it was hooked up to Merc’s G63 4x4².

Danielle Shearing was out looking for a new car with her parents when she heard an advert on the radio for a cheap MG3, and she immediately booked a test drive. Just a few miles behind the wheel were enough to convince her to buy the car, and ordinarily that would be a job well done for the dealership.

Not on this occasion. Mum Kath – a veteran of two tours of Afghanistan – decided she wanted one as well, and it wasn’t long before Danielle’s sister Kayleigh had got in on the act too. Three ladies, three MG3s: not a bad hit-rate for the seller.

But there’s more. Feeling left out, father and husband Mark decided he too would invest, picking up an MG6 to make it four out of four for the family.

Matthew Cheyne, MG’s Head of Sales and Marketing, said: “As far as we’re aware, this is the most new MGs in one household. This fantastic story certainly reinforces our affordable family fun message.”

Oh MG!

The world is full of weird and wonderful police cars, and now the Mitsubishi Outlander PHEV can be added to that list after Ukraine ordered precisely 651 from the Japanese government.

Confirming the news on Twitter, Ukraine’s Minster of Internal Affairs Arsen Avakov said that the new fleet would provide the police with a greener alternative to the current, aging, Russian-built fleet.

The hybrid Outlander is powered by 2.0-litre, four-cylinder engine and two electric motors, and is capable of covering 22 miles without using the petrol engine. Just what you need in a high speed chase.

In a statement, Avakov gave a message to the officers of the nation: “The people of Ukraine hopes that you will be worthy of this innovation! Serve with honour!”

Portuguese footballist Cristiano Ronaldo has had cause to celebrate this month after his team overcame France in the final of the European Championships a fortnight ago.

And when you’re an ultra-rich sportsperson, the sky is your limit. Hence why Mr Ronaldo has bought himself a Bugatti Veyron.

Announcing the delivery on Instagram – saying that the “animal” had arrived – the 31-year-old adds to an impressive collection that reportedly includes a Ferrari F430, a Lamborghini Aventador and an Audi R8, to name but a few.

Ronaldo later published a picture of the car in his garage, although it looks more like a living room to us. Then again, who wouldn’t want a Veyron in their living room?

Technically this isn’t something we learned this week: not locking children in the boot of your car has been standard practice ever since humans developed common sense.

Apparently though, not everyone got the memo. This week, Pennsylvania resident Jessica Reger was arrested by police after they discovered her children – just three and five years old – in the ‘trunk’ of a red Corvette driven by a friend in Hanover.

While both the driver and the mother were charged with recklessly endangering another person, only the latter was remanded in custody, with a reported bail fee of $2,500.

Reger is believed to have a history of criminal offences, and was bizarrely pictured with a broad smile on her face in a mugshot taken at York County Prison.

Last month we saw how someone in Leeds had got a ticking-off from the police after it was discovered that the driver in question had used a saw to give the stopped vehicle an F1-style steering wheel. It wasn’t the safest modification we’d ever seen.

Nor is this. Coppers in Manchester Tweeted the above picture of a car they’d seized in Swinton yesterday, which had been converted into a convertible (geddit?) using what must have been a very blunt set of tools, judging by the roughness of the edges.

No doubt making the car structurally unsafe, the driver’s case probably wasn’t helped by the “Going as fast as I can!” sticker on the rear of the vehicle either...

Image credit: @GMPRoytonShaw

Autonomous driving technology is the future. But as legislation tries to catch up with the fervent rate of technological change (as the public is actively using systems like Tesla's Autopilot mode), German officials have been talking about making aircraft-style black boxes mandatory in autonomous cars.

The new legislation will require manufacturers of autonomous cars to equip the tracking black boxes into the car to help determine responsibility in the event of an accident. A grey area that’s currently one of the biggest discussions in this market. Especially as more and more autonomous-related car crashes are happening. Good or bad idea? Let us know below. 

This week, Audi celebrated the production of its 200th R8 LMS GT3 car. It’s been building angry stripped out R8 racers since 2009, with 136 of the first-generation R8 taking up most of that 200 haul.

The 64th example of the second-generation V10-engined R8 LMS was the one that tipped the double tonne. It will be raced against Ferrari 488s, Lamborghini Huracans and AMG GTs in the ADAC GT Masters by series leader Land Motorsport. It also looks pretty damn mean too.