Ten things we learned this week: 25 September 2015 edition

Human ingenuity knows no bounds, and here is the evidence: a picture of a Mexican man hoping to cross the border into America undetected by sewing himself into a car seat.
 
The great disguise actually happened way back in 2001, but has only emerged as the US Border Control has released images of some of its more bizarre finds. Stowaways have been found in engine bays and cavities cut into car floorpans, but the half-man-half-seat transformer stands out as particularly well thought out.
 
Not well enough, though, as Enrique Aguilar Canchol was discovered beneath the upholstery at the San Ysidro crossing in California, and presumably throne straight out.
 
Sorry.

Dogs are no strangers to Ten Things, particularly when they’ve been driving cars. This week, though, dogs have took a quite literal back seat thanks to a big-hearted man in Texas who takes a whole kennel of stray dogs (yep, that is the collective noun) around the local town in his specially built road-train. An online pledge page has been set up to help fund his generous endeavours.
 
Just look at their happy little faces. And you’ll have one too if you watch this video. It’s a joyous thing to see, and it’s also fair to say his pooches are very well trained.
 
Sorry. Again.

If you’re anything like us, you’ll occasionally drop things. Phones, plates, pets, that sort of thing. It’s what separates us mere humans from perfect machines. But the procedure that follows ought to be obvious: apologise to thin air, then pick it up and ensure it’s not broken. Simple.
 
Not if you’re a pit crew, it would seem. Wince and squirm as this Ferrari 458 GT3 unceremoniously plummets to the floor during a cocked-up wheel change, before being hoisted back up and then quickly driven away. Ouch.

The Jaguar F-Pace is here at last. Which is good news if you dislike teaser pictures. And even better news if you like to play on internet configurators.
 
And we really do like to do that. While the F-Pace starts at a relatively sane and attainable £34,170, it’s possible, with some extremely liberal box ticking, to take it a little beyond that. Erm, £58,820 beyond that. That’s an entire F-Type, in either coupe or roadster flavour.
 
By picking one of the bigger engines and throwing everything at it – from personalised illuminated kick plates to Union Jack valve caps via a waterproof wristband car key for all the surfing you’ll be doing – you can almost double the price of a V6 F-Pace, as we did, above.
 
Good luck getting all that back when you trade it in.

In a quiet week for Volkswagen, news has emerged that potential paddleshift RSI issues have been avoided with the halting of development of a ten-speed version of its DSG twin-clutch gearbox.
 
It’s a long time since a sixth gear was the sign of exotica, of course, and eight- and nine-speed automatics are relatively common now. But it appears VW has decided not to out-gear its rivals by producing a transmission with yet another ratio.
 
Costs and complexity were cited by the VW source who revealed the news at the Frankfurt motor show last week, though given what we’ve learned since, it might have taken a development back seat regardless…

Lovers of things that look like Caterhams but aren’t, rejoice: Westfield is bringing out a new car!
 
“While there have been lots of attempts to make fuel efficient cars for the future all too often these have been rather too worthy and rather too little fun,” reads the jovial little press release, which confirms Westfield will work on an all-new car.
 
It will have a lightweight rotary engine, apparently – just like a Mazda RX-8 – sitting in a carbonfibre structure described as ‘advanced’. When your company is better known for cars that ape a 50-year-old Lotus, we can’t imagine that takes much.

We at TG love a Kei car, and our absolute favourite at the moment is Honda’s sweet little S660.
 
Not everyone is captivated by it, though. See Fernando Alonso, in particular, the McLaren-Honda Formula 1 driver looking distinctly disinterested in driving the little mid-engined turbo roadster.
 
Which is odd, given that its 63bhp and ten-second 0-60mph mean it’s very nearly as quick as his F1 car. And probably much more reliable…

Um, yeah. Nissan has this week shed some light on how extensive the development of its crossovers is, and some of the details are very odd indeed.
 
How about 480 hours of windscreen wiper testing? Over two million clicks of each indicator? And dropping the weight of a brown bear onto the roofs of its cars to check they’ll survive such an impact?
 
The oddest fact of all, though, emerges from the sound system testing. Over 1.7million minutes of music are played to test the durability of its speakers, with German house music used to check the bass and Mariah Carey for the high notes.

Some large statistics have emerged this week regarding the roadworks that are the bane of British motorway users’ lives.
 
One in three of the country’s car journeys suffer a delay because of them, apparently. And with a £15billion government investment programme to improve our roads, that number’s not going to drop..
 
And the most eye-watering stat? Estimates suggest widening a 51-mile stretch of the M6 cost £1,000 per inch, or a faintly jaw-dropping £63million per mile. Eek.

One of the best supercars of last year - nay, ever – was the Ferrari 458 Speciale. Its combination of a high-revving, finale-for-natural–aspiration V8 and an exhilarating yet accessible chassis made it a real TG favourite.
 
So news of an Alfa Romeo with the Speciale badge has Ten Things salivating at the thought of a 4C road-racer, or an unhinged Giulia with a cage instead of back seats.
 
Instead, Alfa’s Speciale is a limited edition Giulietta. With a maximum of 175bhp. And some dark-finish door handles and fog light surrounds.
 
Allow us a moment to be rather disappointed.