Nine things we learned from F1’s red carpet launch party

This whole event was ostensibly about revealing the teams’ new liveries, right? “I say new, most of them haven’t actually changed,” quipped host Jack Whitehall. “But we’d booked Machine Gun Kelly and we didn’t want to lose the deposit on the venue.”

And sure enough, half the grid had basically opened the project file marked ‘2024 car.dwg’, swapped out a few sponsor logos and driver numbers, then called it quits. Standard.

Notable changes? The Sauber is more green, the RB is now predominantly white, the Williams more blue, the Haas has more white on it… and Alpine provided the shock of the night by actually having a livery this year. Gone is the exposed carbon fibre, filled in (mostly) with a blue ‘n’ pink combo. Much better.

Just kidding. But now we think about it…

Obviously Aston chose to lean into its 007 connections for its big reveal, opening with a CGI-heavy skit in which a behelmeted Alonso and Lance Stroll – Agents 0014 and 0018 – raced towards the O2 in a pair of speedboats chased by missile-happy villains unknown. Presumably the stewards exacting vengeance for a track limits violation.

A daring escape cuts to black, with Alonso and Stroll then unmasking themselves in the crowd. Nowhere near as iconic as the Queen’s entrance at London 2012, but a valiant effort nonetheless.

You’ve got to give credit to the Red Bull junior team, here. Rather than shy away from its recent (and frequent) name changes, the team’s launch was charmingly self-deprecating as comedian Munya Chawawa was sent on a mission to get people (not real ones, obviously) to say the team’s name correctly. Shoutout to the ‘Ferrari’ (a blurred out Royal Mail van) and ‘human tangerine’ (a blurred McLaren t-shirt) gags.

So, let’s clear this up once and for all: the team name is officially, 100 per cent, irrevocably ‘Visa Cash App Racing Bulls’. Or ‘VCARB’ for short. And you can guarantee no one will use either, except ironically.

Hello Racing Bulls, enjoy your ‘Launch of the Night’ medallion.

The most unifying moment came when the FIA was roundly booed by the 15,000-strong crowd, its reputation in the doldrums right now after its latest crusade to turn F1 into pre-watershed BBC Four.

And 20 minutes later, it got worse. Celebrity chef and swear word enthusiast Gordon Ramsey – in the audience as a long-time fan of the sport, and now official F1 partner as a provider of premium foodstuffs – was asked what he thought about the new restrictions. “I think it’s an industry language,” he replied. “The fact that these athletes push themselves to the extreme, so sometimes if [swearing] comes out… let them be real. Let it go!

“They’re travelling over 200mph, so if the **** hits the fan…” at which point the mic cut out. Some superfast reflexes in the production gallery, there.

We were ready for this, but that didn’t make it any easier to swallow. What was interesting about each reveal was which teams got what the event was about and which… plainly hadn’t.

The ones that nailed it played to the crowd: thumping music, some humour, dramatic lights. And crucially, had the drivers whisked off the stage as quickly as possible. No one – not even a stadium full of people dressed in overpriced team merch – gives a fig about ‘hopes for the season’ when none of the cars have been driven yet.

The launches that failed came from the most traditional thinkers, who couldn’t countenance the team’s moment in the sun not being shared with the CEO of the title sponsor, who just had to say a few words. At which point the energy in the room vanished, as though sucked out of the O2 by a backstage wind tunnel.

And spare a thought for Alpine team principal Oliver Oakes, who was clearly instructed to hype up the team bumf in front of the cameras. Asked what the team could achieve off the back of P6 last year, he replied: “Well, I guess we just need to rise higher don’t we?” Cue crickets in the crowd. We felt your pain, sir.

Far from the largely British audience to laud only the Union Flag carriers (though there were big cheers for Lando Norris, Oliver Bearman, George Russell and You Know Lew – we’ll get to him shortly), but the fans also voiced their support for Fernando Alonso, Oscar Piastri, Carlos Sainz, Charles Leclerc and several others throughout the night.

Max Verstappen attracted a smattering of boos (no surprise there), but these gave way to big cheers every time. He is a four-time champ after all.

But the frostiest reception was reserved for Red Bull team boss Christian Horner, who was handed the unenviable task of introing the launch of the RB21 while 15,000 attempted to drown him out. Oops.

Horner of course became a villain to anyone rooting for Lewis Hamilton in the 2021 championship battle, and last year was the subject of allegations that were later dismissed internally but have yet to be publicly explained.

To buy time between the Aston and Merc launches [Surely you mean ‘build anticipation for a summer blockbuster?’ - Ed], we were treated to a short featurette going behind the scenes of the upcoming F1 movie.

Contained within were a few snippets unseen from the teasers shown so far, plus hype from Lewis Hamilton, star Damson Idris, producer Jerry Bruckheimer and others. Plus director Joseph Kosinski saying: “It’s always better to overachieve than underachieve. And boy did we overachieve.” While stood in front of the wreck of one of the modified Apex film cars. Nice touch.

As is the way with modern F1, organisers interspersed the, um, action with a string of musical performances. Machine Gun Kelly opened the show with Bloody Valentine, Kane Brown filled the mid-slot with Miles On It, and Take That closed with Greatest Day and Rule the World. To be honest, we were expecting Patience against a backdrop of footage from the Monaco Grand Prix…

Meanwhile some of the teams hired acts of their own, with Alpine enlisting DJ Are We Dreaming (actual name Brian) and Aston Martin followed its Bond antics with a performance from Tems. Haas meanwhile blew its budget on the licensing rights to a Lenny Kravitz hit.

Essentially Eurovision meets the Tributes' Parade from The Hunger Games, the event was unrecognisable from the days of sticking a dusty cover over a car in the garage and calling it a ‘launch’. But that’s the Netflix age for you. Makes you wonder what Stirling Moss, Jim Clark and Juan Manuel Fangio would’ve made of it all.

It’s the one you’ve all been waiting for. The F175 launch was Lewis Hamilton’s first official engagement wearing the red of Scuderia Ferrari, and the crowd went absolutely mental as the 40-year-old strode down the stage flanked by new teammate Charles Leclerc and team principal Fred Vasseur.

Hamilton promptly declared that he felt “invigorated” having made the switch from Mercedes, adding: “I feel so full of life, and so much energy because everything’s new. I’m so proud to be a part of the team, [it’s] something new and exciting for me.”

That sound you can hear is a mass of Silver Arrows gear being thrown in a bin bag marked ‘for the charity shop’ and thousands of index fingers tapping ‘confirm order’ on £220, non-waterproof Ferrari jackets.