Fail of the century #19: Subaru B9 Tribeca

Consider, just for a moment, the sheer number of people involved in getting a new car from drawing board to the road. Engineers, designers, accountants, technicians: hundreds of lavishly qualified, lavishly skilled humans, doubtless educated at the globe’s finest institutions, bringing literally centuries of combined experience to the table.

Consider, as that new car makes its slow journey to production, how many meetings must take place to ensure that what’s being created is a fine, desirable, competent motor vehicle, and not, for example, a gurning, wallowing abomination of an SUV bearing the face of a beaver deeply shamed by his new moustache. Consider how many opportunities exist for any one of those qualified, talented employees to say, “Um, hang on a second guys. Is it possible we’re making an utter cowpat here?”

And consider, finally, that once everything’s done, several highly paid company bosses must cast their eyes over the finished product before signing it off with a flourish. “That’s it, that’s the one, cast-iron hit. Order the yacht, honey, this year’s bonus is gonna be a cracker!”

Consider all that, and then attempt to understand quite how the Subaru B9 Tribeca (total United Kingdom sales: 746, literally what was any one of those buyers thinking) ever reached production. And this, wise reader, is why the human race is ultimately doomed.