BMW has armoured the new electric i7 and V8 7 Series

BMW hasn’t revealed how much the new armoured i7 and 7 Series weigh, but tellingly both cars’ 0-62mph times are a lot slower. Counterintuitive for a getaway car, or an unshakable belief in its ability to withstand massive blasts?

One suspects the latter. Ready your finest grille jokes and meet both the BMW i7 Protection and its V8-engined sibling, the BMW 7 Series Protection; the former the world’s first fully-armoured luxury electric limo. At least until Merc decided to bomb-proof an EQS.

So it’s the world’s best luxury saloon decked out with full VR9-level protection “without any limitations”, thanks to the entire supporting structure of the saloon’s body constructed from armoured steel. Basically, it’s armoured from the inside out while it’s on the production line – indeed BMW factored this in when designing the new i7 and 7 – rather than being retrofitted once the car’s been built.

As such, this ‘protection core’ forms a “self-supporting protective cell, which is then combined with protection-spec doors, armouring for the underbody and roof, and safety glass”. Of course.

This armoured steel core helps defend the i7 and 7er ‘maximum’ against explosives in particular, along with drone attacks, explosive charges, hand grenades, and of course, bullets. The fuel tank on the 760i Protection also features ‘self-sealing’ tech, whereby any ‘breaches’ are automatically closed off.

About that weight, then. While the regular, 2,640kg BMW i7 and its twin-motor 544bhp setup will scoot you from 0-62mph in 4.7 seconds, this Protection car will do it in… 9.0s. The top speed for this Hercules? 99mph. Just think of how much steel this thing carries.

The 526bhp V8-engined 760i Protection is much quicker and faster at the top, so if getaway speed’s more your thing, perhaps this is the one to pick: 0-62mph in 6.6s and a top whack of 130mph.

Naturally both cars have had their suspension tweaked to deal with the extra load and bulk, and to ensure the new i7 and 7er’s superlative ride quality remains and everything remains level, even when under heavy gunfire. Heck, spec the massive Theatre Screen and you might not even know you’re under attack.

Other options might be more ‘on brand’, mind. Things like a fire extinguisher, flashing lights, radio receivers and flag poles for officials, and even a fresh-air supply system. Ah, so that's why the grille's so huge.