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Top Gear
Speed limits: your most-Googled questions, answered
You asked the Internet. We unhelpfully replied
What’s the UK speed limit?
The fact you’re using ‘speed limit’ in the singular rather than plural is concerning here. Surely, surely you’ve observed that different parts of the UK have different speed limits? Even if you’ve never been to the UK, surely you’ve observed that literally every country in the world has a variety of speed limits? Asking, “What’s the UK speed limit?” is like asking, “What temperature is an oven?” Try harder.
Is the speed limit a suggestion?
Sure. In the same way that ‘don’t lower your family jewels into a salami slicer’ or ‘best not give that 24-stone nightclub bouncer a wedgie’ are suggestions. In other words, you’re entirely welcome to ignore them, but probably won’t especially enjoy the consequences of doing so.
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Does the speed limit apply to cyclists?
This is actually not a bad question, though one that somewhat ignores just how tough it is to break 30mph on a pushbike unless you are one of those Tour de France oddities who weighs around 40kg but boasts thighs the size of concrete bollards. For what it’s worth, no: UK speed limits don’t apply to bicycles, or (non-electric) scooters, or horses, not least because it’s very difficult to affix a licence plate to the rear of a horse without suffering a terrible injury in the process.
What’s the speed limit on this road?
On this road? Right now? Is someone using their phone to Google while they’re driving?
Will the speed limit ever increase?
In Britain? Not going to happen. Despite the fact that the UK’s motorway speed limit (70mph, come on, you know this) was set in 1965 – an era when tyres were knitted from lambswool and brake discs crudely hewn from boughs of elm – no modern politician seems prepared to argue that doing, say, 80mph in a modern car on a bone dry motorway in good visibility might be less heinous a crime than, say, strapping kittens to the front of Javelin anti-tank missiles.
Can speed limit signs take pictures?
Hang on a sec here. You’re not asking if speed cameras can take pictures. You’re asking if speed limit signs – the big metal discs with the big numbers on the front – are photographing you and your car? If so, let’s go with, yeah, they’re photographing you all day. Also your cat has been bugged by the FBI and your toothpaste is spying on you while you sleep.
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