Verstappen to narrate sweary, adults-only adaptation of The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Here's TopGear.com's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

Max Verstappen will narrate an adults-only adaptation of children’s classic The Very Hungry Caterpillar in a late-night special, sources close to the reigning F1 champion have revealed.

The Dutchman, reprimanded for swearing in a news conference, will recite an expletive-laden version of Eric Carle’s much-loved parable about a very hungry caterpillar.

The one-off, specially televised event will see the three-time world champion reel off a massively sweary monologue that questions society’s stance on overindulgence, while sitting in front of a cosy fire in an armchair.

“He’s been ordered by the Singapore GP stewards to ‘accomplish some work of public interest’, so he’s going to narrate one of the world’s most beloved children’s stories using a string of profanities for a late-night audience,” an insider said.

“Let’s be honest, Verstappen swearing non-stop while sitting in front of a fire wearing an unthreatening jumper and a knowing smile is box-office gold.

“He’s threatened to leave Formula One if things like this keep happening, so we’re lining up a very profitable career on a streaming service doing a series of late-night, adults-only specials where he transforms classic tales into endless cursing.

“He’s actually quite looking forward to it,” the insider added. “He’s not motivated by breaking F1 records, so broadening his horizons outside the sport by sitting in front of a camera issuing a string of profanities for 30 minutes at a time really appeals.”

Speaking in a new teaser trailer, Verstappen said: “He’s a ******* caterpillar that likes eating loads of ******* food. Why can’t the poor ******* thing eat whatever the **** it likes? Who cares if it gets a ******* stomach-ache – it’s a ******* caterpillar that turns into a ******* butterfly.

“Why should it have to deal with these kinds of things? ******* ridiculous,” he added.