Vauxhall announces ‘Bellingham Edition’ Corsa that’ll oversteer wildly at the end of every journey

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

Vauxhall is set to capitalise on England’s last gasp knockout-stages win at the Euros with a special ‘Bellingham Edition’ Corsa that’ll oversteer wildly and magnificently at the end of every journey.

The Vauxhall Corsa Bellingham Edition will automatically engage a hidden ‘oversteer’ mode that’ll send the passive hatchback massively sideways approximately 80 seconds before reaching its destination.

The special, limited-edition Corsa will also be treated to an LED light display on the rear windscreen showcasing Bellingham’s outrageous injury-time overhead kick in the style of an old Las Vegas casino sign.

“The Corsa, much like our beloved England squad, is a car that has all the ingredients to excel but instead prefers sensible, defensive competence.

“So we’ll inject it with moments – mere flashes, even – of extravagant flair and sheer, unmitigated brilliance to honour England’s 21-year-old footballing superstar.

“Then it’ll go right back to plodding along monotonously as you wonder why you bought one of these and not a Fiesta when they still made them.”

Insiders revealed the Bellingham Edition’s stereo system will only be programmed to play The Beatles’ Hey Jude on repeat.