Thank you wave becomes legal requirement on UK roads

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

Drivers who are let out of busy junctions by the good will of kindly motorists are now legally obligated to give a thank you wave, it has been announced.

The government has vowed to clamp down on ungrateful so-and-sos who routinely lap up other people’s common courtesy but refuse to even flash their headlights by way of thanks.

Research has found that not being adequately acknowledged for heroically pulling over to let someone through is now the single most aggravating behaviour seen on UK roads.

It topped a poll of some 20,000 drivers, and was deemed more annoying even than lane hogging, not indicating at roundabouts, driving exclusively at 34mph regardless of the actual speed limit, and repeatedly glancing down at your lap like no one could possibly work out what you’re really doing.

“We’re determined to stamp out ingratitude on our roads,” said a Home Office source. “The thank you wave is a quintessentially British value, like queueing and complaining about the weather and drinking tea by the gallon.

“This new law gives the police the power to arrest suspects, and anyone found guilty will be sentenced to three months behind bars.

“Repeat offenders will simply have their cars crushed, and be forced to replace them with one of those terrible EVs with ADAS that shouts at you constantly.

“If that doesn’t teach them some manners, nothing will.”