Tesla Optimus robot to take over from Liz Truss, says government

Here's TopGear.com's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

Tesla’s Optimus robot will replace incumbent prime minister Liz Truss following the continuing fallout from last month’s mini budget, subsequent U-turns and parliamentary chaos.

The humanoid robot built by the Californian carmaker, able to perform a series of basic functions, was deemed the most qualified candidate to resume control of the United Kingdom and stabilise global financial markets.

Following a successful display of its abilities, which included raising its arms up and down and slowly transferring a small piece of metal from one table to another, the Optimus robot was unanimously voted in as a ‘safe pair of hands’ and prepped for its prime duty in No.10.

“With Autopilot and Full Self Driving, Tesla has shown that its own in-house artificial intelligence understands basic economic principles and displays a level of leadership we’re comfortable with,” a government spokesperson said.

“To have that same level of engineering integrity and intelligence housed inside a robotic humanoid leading the government for at least the next 10 to 15 days is quite literally a no-brainer. It’s hired.”

Optimus was reported to have spent its first day on the job slowly typing out “cOmBuStIoN eNgInEs SUCKKKK” underneath a video praising the new Porsche 911 GT3 RS.