Report: man’s remaining life goal is to aggressively overtake driver who passed him

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

A man with a good family and fulfilling career has radically altered his main life goal to aggressively overtake the motorist who just passed him on the motorway.

Despite passively dawdling along at 53mph in the middle lane of the M1, the man was shocked when he was passed by an irate driver who just wanted to keep to a consistent speed of 70mph.

As soon as the driver pulled back into the middle lane having overtaken the man, it triggered a petty, revenge-fuelled mission to suddenly speed up and rashly overtake the driver who he had held up for seven straight minutes.

“There I was, minding my own business in the middle lane, when suddenly this ABSOLUTE MANIAC comes STEAMING ACROSS at 70mph in the right hand lane to overtake me.

“I won’t stand for this. Yes, I’m a fulfilled, generally pleasant man who wants to be a better partner, see his children grow up and change the world, make a difference to the community. Maybe even learn a language or see more of the world.

“But all of that has gone in the bin, because this MADMAN has enraged me. Now, my only mission in life is to aggressively overreact to his overtake, speed up and reclaim my position in front of him until journey's end. That’ll show him.

“And if anyone else tries to overtake me again? Why, I’ll wait for them to come alongside me, and then I’ll just speed up for no reason, forcing them to retreat behind me in the middle lane.

“Then, I’ll slow right back down to 53mph. This is all that matters to me now.”