Motorist sets new world record by holding up outside motorway lane for 28 minutes

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

A motorist has inadvertently set a new world record for the longest time spent holding up traffic on the outside lane of the M1 with a record-breaking 28 minutes.

The record was set by an oblivious Toyota Prius driver driving at 48mph on an overcast Tuesday morning, with conditions reported by eyewitnesses as rage-inducingly, unnecessarily congested.

The new record eclipses the 23.5 minutes set by a 2002 grey Honda Jazz driven by someone who really shouldn’t have been.

“Feats like this take lifelong dedication, a commitment to craft, hours spent honing skills and an absolute and total disregard for the norms of highway use,” a world records adjudicator noted.

“How one human being can hog the outside lane at 58mph and be so utterly, wholeheartedly unaware of the surrounding traffic conditions and the snake-like queue forming behind them without even the merest hint of shame or remorse is something we rarely see.

“It’s enough to make you cry,” they added.

When asked by adjudicators exactly how they managed to break the record, the Prius driver responded with a vacant stare. “Huh? What traffic?

“I mean it’s a bit quiet out today, isn’t it?” they added, slightly bemused. “Sat nav telling me there’s loads of congestion on this road but I’m not getting any of it.

“Huh. Weird,” they added, entirely indifferently.

The Prius driver came close to breaking a second world record for the longest time spent being sworn at while doing 48mph on the motorway, after being flashed out of the third lane and into the middle lane by an irate SUV driver.

“Huh?” the driver said, with a glazed, emotionless expression.