Miming oversteer manoeuvre set to be recognised as Olympic sport

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

Miming an expertly crafted oversteer manoeuvre is set to be recognised as an official Olympic sport, insiders have revealed.

Following years of lobbying by a variety of motoring bodies, Olympics officials will finally recognise the intricate and multi-faceted hand gestures that driving enthusiasts have been making in conversation for decades.

And in the new rules published today, those who combine pretending to oversteer with mimicking the action of changing gears on a six-speed manual most effectively will be awarded additional points.

“People who like cars have been making oversteer gestures for decades as a means of communicating their expert driving prowess, honing and perfecting this delicate, instinctive and tribal art form,” an Olympics insider said.

“Having witnessed the artistry on display, we felt compelled to turn the simple act of pretending to massively oversteer a car into a full-on, promotable spectator sport.

“We’ve had a deluge of entries from across the globe, with a variety of nations offering up their own unique take on the art. Great Britain, for example, boasts a roster of talented oversteer mimers raised on a diet of lairy Jags and TVRs.

“France has its own bastion of lift-off oversteer enthusiasts thanks to its heritage in hot hatches. Though we suspect their interpretations will be set against a backdrop of ‘oh merde not again’.

“There’ll be a strong Australian contingent, because somewhere across the land a Monaro is still going sideways, while the USA too is expected to offer strong, possibly massively overpowered competition, with officials requesting no American competitor make any supercharger whines.”

“We will win it, because we have the Nürburgring,” a German motoring enthusiast later said. “Our oversteer gestures, based on a history of world-beating performance machines setting record lap times, will be 67.9 per cent more oversteery than anyone else.”

Meanwhile, Japan’s squad was rumoured to have read the entry list and burst out laughing. “Nürburgring? TVRs? Overpowered ‘Vettes? Don’t make us laugh,” a team insider said. “We’ve got the Hakone Turnpike and a nation raised on modified, rear-drive 200SXs. Don’t test.”