Mazda to create perfume that smells of burnt rotor seals and fibreglass

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

Mazda will create a new perfume that smells of burnt rotor seals and fibreglass, insiders have revealed.

Following rival Nissan’s bizarre Formula E fragrance, the Japanese carmaker will create an equally preposterous concoction that taps into it being known for inordinately modified third-generation FD RX-7s pushing out a thousand horsepower.

Dubbed ‘RX-Smell’em’, the new fragrance will appeal to enthusiasts of Nineties Japanese car culture, while providing weary RX-7 owners a welcome hit of familiarity and anxiety about yet another impending engine rebuild.

“Tyre smoke and cherry blossom and Formula E what now?" a Mazda insider said, upon hearing about Nissan’s new fragrance. “Fine. If people truly want absurdly niche perfume, they can have it.

“Yes, our legacy lies in building the world’s most successful roadster, a legion of beautiful concept cars and a range of – OK, forgettable – cookie-cutter crossovers.

“But it’s also a little bit of massive, flashy and hilariously overwrought fibreglass bodykits and comically modified Wankel-engines that blow up every 500 miles.

“Just like our rival Nissan we’re going to condense an inexplicable mixture – this time of hope, hubris and the crushing financial pain of running a rotary engine – into a bottle. And it’ll be a beautifully designed bottle that’ll look better than any other mainstream bottle on the market.”

Insiders later revealed RX-Smell’em would feature a unique, needlessly complicated two-stage spray mechanism prone to failure that in the second-half of its push massively overdelivers the quantity of perfume, just for a laugh.