Man changes jobs, gets hugely improved company car

Here's TopGear.com's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

A man who’s changed jobs has secured himself a vastly better company car, having spent years driving a vehicle unworthy of his status at his previous employer.

The 30-year-old - who has been headhunted by a German firm - spent nine years in an ageing Vauxhall Astra Estate despite being almost single-handedly responsible for all of his British company’s success in that time.

Two years ago the man had pushed to join a rival British outfit having been promised a Bentley Continental GT and a generous fuel allowance, but a contractual stand-off meant the man remained stuck in his dependable, but exceedingly dull family wagon.

Having finally forced through a transfer to the internationally competitive, Munich-based corporation, he’s now been handed the keys to a brand new Audi R8 and given a designated parking space described as “literally miles closer” to HQ’s main entrance.

“This is a bittersweet moment for me,” explained the man. “Although I was very fond of the Astra, it was a bit embarrassing turning up to international conferences when all of my peers were arriving in Range Rover SVRs.

“Even smaller firms were getting their staff into 23-plate Jags: we’re talking about people who wouldn’t be fit to clean my boots. So to speak.

“But I can put all that behind me now. I’ve been one of the world’s best in my role for years and it’s nice to be driving something that won’t fail its MOT because of corroded suspension arms. Again.”

Meanwhile, the Astra Estate has been reassigned to the man’s replacement, who has been promoted from within as a cost-saving measure at the say so of the chairman.