Driver risks it all by de-icing windscreen with boiling water

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

The owner of a supercar has been condemned as ‘the most reckless driver in Britain’ after using freshly boiled water to hurriedly deal with a frozen windscreen.

The perpetrator - who cannot be named for legal reasons - was caught out by plummeting temperatures across the UK this morning, having not factored the inevitable frost into their morning routine.

Late for work and with no de-icing fluid to hand, the person is thought to have panicked before uttering: “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Neighbours have described watching in horror as the contents of a 1.5-litre kettle were emptied onto the windows of a Porsche 911, with no apparent regard for the integrity of the glass.

“When I saw what was going on, I sank to my knees and howled in anguish,” said one onlooker. “Like Henry Cavill when Kevin Costner dies in Man of Steel.

“I simply couldn’t comprehend that a human being could do something so reckless with such a nice car. Surely it’s universally understood that mixing a very hot thing with a very cold, fragile thing is a recipe for disaster of the most heinous kind?”

Another said: “I thought about dialling 999, but who do you ask for? The police? An ambulance? The fire brigade? I doubt even the military is equipped for what I witnessed.

“No, I quietly resolved to let events play out in front of me, and that will haunt me forever. I shan’t ever speak aloud again. My silence will be my salvation.”

Although no damage was caused, experts have been quick to reassure the public and have reiterated the long-established advice for de-icing cars in winter.

“Don’t rush, use an ice scraper, whack the heating up and only use the wipers when they can move freely,” said a spokesperson for the UN. “Failing that, I’ve always been partial to downing a big coffee, standing on the roof and letting nature do the rest. If you catch my drift.”