Fail of the century #35: Chrysler Sebring

“Well Chad, looks like we’re all done here. Engine, suspension, brakes, interior, the whole lot. That’s officially a sign off. The new Sebring is ready to roll. Let’s get those production lines a-fired up!”

“Copy that, boss. Only, just before we press go, I was wondering. What if we spent just a bit more time making it... less awful?”

“Sounds like a lot of extra work. I’ve already had all these sheets laminated. Have you ever tried to un-laminate a sheet, Chad?”

“I know. But at the same time – hope I’m not speaking out of turn here – isn’t this new Sebring terrible by most objective measures?”

“You are speaking out of turn, Chad. It’s terrible by every objective measure!”

“So who’s gonna buy it?”

“No one, Chad! That’s the genius. No buyers, no unhappy customers. We’re targeting the airport rental market. The holiday hire crew. They’ll drive it for two weeks, they’ll hate it, then they’ll hand it back, so happy they never have to drive it again that they won’t even complain. It’s a victimless crime! No one will ever know!”

“If you say so, boss. Just so long as, in 15 years’ time, a British car website doesn’t expose our laxness as part of a light-hearted series on rubbish cars?”

“Don’t be crazy. No one would ever believe them...”