Fail of the century #1: Vauxhall Tigra Sport Rouge

You may have forgotten the Vauxhall Tigra. If so, congratulations. If, however, you remember GM’s flaccid two-seat convertible of the Noughties, and you’re looking at the photo below thinking, “but I’m sure the Tigra had a folding hard top”, you’re right. It did. Apart from when it was the grandly named Tigra ‘Sport Rouge’, when it had a soft top. But also a hard top.

Yes, the Tigra Sport Rouge retained the standard Tigra’s metal folder… but wrapped it in a layer of fabric. On the upside, it may have caused momentary confusion to a few scissor-wielding car crims. On the downside, literally everything else.

Vauxhall claimed the Sport Rouge – yes, that roof wrap only came in red – catered to customers “who love the look of a fabric soft top but who also want the convenience, security and safety of a hard top”. Which is like struggling to decide what sort of egg you fancy for breakfast, so slopping a spoonful of scrambled atop your soft-boiled. In fact, not like that, because that would actually taste fine, and at least you’d end up with lots of egg.

This was more like... struggling to decide between the stylishness of a stiletto heel and the ruggedness of a walking boot, thus opting to weld a pair of four-inch spikes to the soles of your Timberlands. Impractical and likely to attract a deal of ridicule from passers-by.

Because what the Tigra Sport Rouge actually offered was all the disadvantages of a hard top (weight), with many of the disadvantages of a soft top (impossible to clean when a pigeon craps on it). Of course, you could minimise the embarrassment by dropping the roof. But then you were still driving a Tigra.